this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2024
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This is tangential, but there's a surprisingly interesting article about penis enlargement from ProPublica. It's sobering to see people who've convinced themselves it must have worked, because it's too horrible to consider whether they actually made things worse. If there are any crazy, invasive age therapies out there, maybe there'd be similar themes.
https://www.propublica.org/article/penis-enlargement-enhancement-procedures-implants
Jesus Christ, I'm a penis haver and reading this gives the same sensations as watching people be punched in the balls.
The amount of toxic masculinity brain rot required before you willingly go for such an invasive procedure is inconceivable to me.
Also, this fucking quote:
What in the fuck's mercy is this supposed to mean? You're supposed to change its battery every few years? Take it off at night? I have a watch, just, you know, not a Rolex, a normal-person fucking watch, and I can't decipher this. Is there some specific species of brain worm you get when you buy specifically a Rolex watch?
Bonus
Perfectly placed in the article, you're reading about a horrific predatory industry and then a Brit pops up saying "ah those fookin' yankee wankers, mangling cocks and sending them to me". Just all-round endearing.
Kinda brings a whole new meaning to "overpaid, oversexed and over here"
I'm now imagining populations of penis havers who scoff at the enlarged ones behaving like the Rolex aficionados who play "spot the fake Rolex" and get into all kinds of watch minutiae. Look at the telltale marks around the base - definitely enlarged, not like my 100% natural model, which comes 2.5 seconds fast per day.
You can see it's not genuine Penuma since its not leaking puss all over.
The writer says there's some indication it may literally be a psychiatric condition along the lines of body dysmorphia, and that most people who go through with it are at least average sized but unhealthily preoccupied with their member, consistently reporting feelings of shame and helplessness.
She also says that supposedly the consensus on the evolution of genital size has been quietly moving away from assumptions about giving an edge with inseminatory success and towards them being just for show, as apparently male primates do tend to involve their genitals in threat displays. Which is to say, maybe for some people it's just unusual wiring that manifests as penis related existential angst.
Still, it doesn't mention the extent to which the above is just evo-psych enthusiasts idly theorizing, or if field testing actually showed it's possible to win a showdown with a gorilla by dropping trou and windmilling.
And then there's also the guy who had the procedure done and is super happy about it, except he's now looking at options for enlarging his wife's vaginal canal and entrance as she's been having a rough time of it, and who I'm sure would be found out to be the walking and talking personification of toxic masculinity if you were to give him the time of day.
Penis enlargement and breast implants can be understood as gender affirming surgery for cis people, it is just an affirmation of the gender assigned at birth. Rather than go to primates I would point to ancient Greece and it's statues to make the point that ideals of gender and bodies shift over time. Greek statues shows as I understand it often an ideal body, which by the norms of its time included a rather small penis. So maybe some male ancient Greeks wished there were treatments to shrink their package?
With gorillas, my understanding is that primates that have very unequal sizes between the sexes has small penises, while its among the primates with roughly equal body size you find larger penises. So akin to plummage, the males showing off of that their bodies can afford to waste resources, and thus presumably is very fit. I am no biologist, but I think this means that if you try to win a domination fight with a gorilla, it may show who is the boss by showing off its physical strength. So not recommended.
@V0ldek @hrrrngh
Tie it to your wrist with a metal chain?
Show it to others as a visual gaudy signal of wealth?
Or to tell time? lifts left testicle "ten" lifts right "thirteen".
Oh god theres a whole watch ‘community’ and its toxic as fuck.
"Guys will literally do anything instead of therapy" episode 2137
Tangential to your tangential - nice to see that the moral compass of McKinsey associates is still true north.
On a lighter note:
CW, if you are male, maybe skip the part where the actual implant procedure is described. Starting with the sentence "With a purple marker,"
@gerikson Eh, I grew up in a family of doctors. They'd discuss their workdays at the dinner table. I fear nothing. Let's have a read, see what all the fuss is ab... (turns green, excuses self)
Someone on Masto thought that the industry had missed a chance to call the procedure "spatchcocking".
Oh, that's good.
working at an unspecified medical journal over an unspecified period of time
we occasionally had to remind ourselves about appropriate and inappropriate placeholder imagery
But then you'll never find out what like a jellyfish surfacing at sea is in reference to.
I'm not even halfway reading this and holy fuck it's grim
Yeah it is one of those, wish I had not read that stories. Poor guys.