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submitted 9 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

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[–] morphballganon@lemmy.world 67 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Anyone who thinks he'd do this himself gives him too much credit

[–] captainjaneway@lemmy.world 47 points 9 months ago

I think he's just got a horrible golf swing.

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Eric's probably in a hardware store buying a shovel right now

[–] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

He probably owns several for burying all those dead hookers

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I dunno, he's creepy enough that he probably ate them.

By "them" I meant the hookers. Not the shovels, that'd be weird.

[–] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

He eats the hookers by shoveling them into his mouth

[–] seahorse@midwest.social 10 points 9 months ago

His soft, pasty hands have never held a shovel.