this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2024
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Am I the only one who gets to the self checkout and is compelled to finish as soon as humanly possible?

Imagine if there was a speedrun timer on them and a leaderboard

Would make boring everyday life a little more interesting

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[–] Corno@lemm.ee 45 points 7 months ago (5 children)

Shopping Any% speedrun (WR)

[–] magic_lobster_party@kbin.run 23 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

That’s just walking out without paying (without getting caught).

[–] TotallyNotADolphin@sh.itjust.works 24 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

A risky skip that makes or brakes any run, especially as it causes a soft lock if you mess it up

[–] magic_lobster_party@kbin.run 13 points 7 months ago

Speed runners hate it because it’s so dependent on good RNG

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

Jim from Guiness World Records here. The Cambridge dictionary defines shopping as, "the activity of buying things from shops". Based on this, I have no other choice to disqualify your attempt which, although full of brazen effort with the cunning use of firearms and hostages, was not technically shopping as there was no buying action. You are welcome to try again in six months...or 9 years if your prison doesn't have a qualifying shop.

[–] flashgnash@lemm.ee 15 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

Gotta backhop around the store and trimp off the mobility scooter to jump over the aisles and get to the aisle you need, avoiding the unskippable cutscene of getting stuck behind someone who's abandoned their trolley in the middle of the aisle

[–] Corno@lemm.ee 12 points 7 months ago

Instructions unclear, speedrun ruined by RNG which put me directly behind a 98 year old lady at the till and subsequently had to endure an unskippable cutscene where she and the cashier are laughing about the things her new Pomeranians are doing.

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

unstoppable cutscenes of getting stuck behind someone who's abandoned their trolley in the middle of the aisle

My God that just brought up a wave of nam flashbacks dealing with this bullshit.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Dude fucking dives into a store, grabs a pack of gum mid air, scans it as he's falling, drops his WiFi credit card close enough to the reader, transaction finishes before he hits the ground.

A new shopping any% WR, 2.563s.

I can't wait for the summoning salt video.

[–] TheGalacticVoid@lemm.ee 1 points 7 months ago

Do Wi-Fi credit cards come with free internet?

[–] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

Better do it Glitchless if you don't want to get the permanent, console-locked anti-achievement "misdemeanor conviction."

[–] nudnyekscentryk@szmer.info 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

There are certain lightweight products which don't require weighting or putting them in the bagging area at all, like spices or bath sponges. These would be perfect for any% speedrun of Groceries since they don't ever require an employee to verify discrepancies