this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2024
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Am I the only one who gets to the self checkout and is compelled to finish as soon as humanly possible?

Imagine if there was a speedrun timer on them and a leaderboard

Would make boring everyday life a little more interesting

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[–] Corno@lemm.ee 45 points 7 months ago (5 children)

Shopping Any% speedrun (WR)

[–] magic_lobster_party@kbin.run 23 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

That’s just walking out without paying (without getting caught).

[–] TotallyNotADolphin@sh.itjust.works 24 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

A risky skip that makes or brakes any run, especially as it causes a soft lock if you mess it up

[–] magic_lobster_party@kbin.run 13 points 7 months ago

Speed runners hate it because it’s so dependent on good RNG

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

Jim from Guiness World Records here. The Cambridge dictionary defines shopping as, "the activity of buying things from shops". Based on this, I have no other choice to disqualify your attempt which, although full of brazen effort with the cunning use of firearms and hostages, was not technically shopping as there was no buying action. You are welcome to try again in six months...or 9 years if your prison doesn't have a qualifying shop.

[–] flashgnash@lemm.ee 15 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

Gotta backhop around the store and trimp off the mobility scooter to jump over the aisles and get to the aisle you need, avoiding the unskippable cutscene of getting stuck behind someone who's abandoned their trolley in the middle of the aisle

[–] Corno@lemm.ee 12 points 7 months ago

Instructions unclear, speedrun ruined by RNG which put me directly behind a 98 year old lady at the till and subsequently had to endure an unskippable cutscene where she and the cashier are laughing about the things her new Pomeranians are doing.

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

unstoppable cutscenes of getting stuck behind someone who's abandoned their trolley in the middle of the aisle

My God that just brought up a wave of nam flashbacks dealing with this bullshit.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Dude fucking dives into a store, grabs a pack of gum mid air, scans it as he's falling, drops his WiFi credit card close enough to the reader, transaction finishes before he hits the ground.

A new shopping any% WR, 2.563s.

I can't wait for the summoning salt video.

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[–] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

Better do it Glitchless if you don't want to get the permanent, console-locked anti-achievement "misdemeanor conviction."

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[–] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 29 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I love them because i am not being rushed, i can pack my groceries up in peace and properly stacked in the bag. Meanwhile at a normal checkout a bored cashier routinely scans my 30 items in less than 10 seconds, leaving me struggling to pay, and pack up my shit while a dozen people are waiting in line behind me.

[–] cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I imagine if OP were your cashier, they might be thinking of it as a game to see how fast they scan stuff. Bonus points if they make you sweat.

[–] flashgnash@lemm.ee 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Come ooon hurry up and tap your card this could be PB!

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 20 points 7 months ago (5 children)

The faster you go the more likely you get free things! Win-win.

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[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 14 points 7 months ago (5 children)

I’m just annoyed that I’ve been using self checkout for thirty years, it was dead obvious how it worked the very first time I used it, but I still have to hear instructions like β€œplace your APPLES in the bag”.

Yes. I know.

[–] PumaStoleMyBluff@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Huh, I have never used one with a single spoken instruction. Hopefully it stays that way

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 4 points 7 months ago

Be thankful you live in a culture of dignity

[–] jkrtn@lemmy.ml 8 points 7 months ago

Place your item in the bagging area.

Unexpected item in the bagging area.

Place your item in the bagging area.

Unexpected item in the bagging area.

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[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 12 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I try to be quick because I want to hurry and get out of there.

Its amazing to me how many people use them without a fucking clue what theyre doing and just hold up the line.

[–] flashgnash@lemm.ee 7 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Fortunately there are usually loads of them

But yeah it's kinda annoying to see someone take 20 minutes with one

There's usually a wave when all the old people in my area all decide they want to go shopping at once, though fortunately they tend to ignore the self checkout

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[–] Windex007@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Clicking through 90 fucking prompts if I wanna donate to charity or learn about their credit card offerings or if I want to sign up for their rewards program or if I want to give them my email so they'll email me a receipt?

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 4 points 7 months ago

Nah, everyone deals with that.

I mean the people that cant figure out how to use the self checkouts at all. They forget to scan items, dont understand how to search for bulk items or produce that dont have codes, or people that cant figure out they need to scan stuff before bagging it, etc.

[–] kubica@kbin.social 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'm busier thinking about the people that is being paid to make sure I do the checkouts.

[–] flashgnash@lemm.ee 7 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Is your problem that fewer cashiers are being paid or that someone's being paid to make sure you don't steal anything?

[–] kubica@kbin.social 13 points 7 months ago (4 children)

It feels weird to me, like I feel pressured to do the cashier job on myself while the person that would normally do it watches.

[–] flashgnash@lemm.ee 7 points 7 months ago

That is what it is, but the person isn't watching just you, they're watching 10 at once, which means less queuing

I find I do it much faster than cashiers tend to, it's not a lot of effort and it takes less time out of my day than if they were to have done it for me

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[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago (3 children)

My problem is someone gets paid to double check that I did someone else’s job (for free) properly.

I hate self-check out.

[–] flashgnash@lemm.ee 12 points 7 months ago (3 children)

I don't mind that, I really hate having to wait in queue for 25 minutes while someone checks out their family of 8's monthly shop in the only open lane when I've got a packet of biscuits and a couple tins of soup

Or wait for the cashier who's fed up with their job to scan things 3x slower than I would, ask me if I've got a loyalty card, ask me if I want a receipt etc

I am a rather impatient individual I realise but self checkouts solve those problem for me. I get why people like normal ones but self checkouts seem logical

[–] wewbull@feddit.uk 7 points 7 months ago

I'm with you about the cashier. I don't see how having somebody working an extremely mechanical job is a good thing for them. It must be so depressing.

I understand that people need to earn a living, but using people to be robots is a waste of their potential. At least with self checkout it's a bit more dynamic for that one person monitoring several checkouts.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

All of these issues are trivially solved by the supermarket being less of a dick. Pay your employees better, hire more people to shoulder the load - self checkout only seems logical because stores make the regular checkout process as shitty as possible.

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[–] lud@lemm.ee 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I like it a lot. It's way quicker. Self check out greatly increase efficiency. One person can handle at least a few checkouts. Self checkouts also use way less space so there can be more checkouts than otherwise.

Here we also often have the option of carrying around a portable scanner when shopping so when it comes to paying you just dock the scanner, pay, walk out with your prepackaged bags.

Occasionally someone will check that you actually scanned everything but that's pretty rare and self checkouts still saves a lot of time.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Cool.

The ones here are clunky buggy pieces of shit and I’d rather deal with a human with a job instead.

But I’m all for choices so I have nothing against other people using self-checkouts.

[–] flashgnash@lemm.ee 5 points 7 months ago

Over here they tend to work pretty well depending on which store you're in

In Lidl you have to slow yourself down a bit because the weight system gets confused if you do it too fast

[–] Cheradenine@sh.itjust.works 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

unexpected cumfart in bagging area

I hate when that happens.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 7 months ago

I try to be as efficient as possible. I don’t think most people even think about it.

[–] BreakDecks@lemmy.ml 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Amazon Go's ("just walk out") self checkout gives you an elapsed time on your receipt. There was one next door to my old pre-pandemic office. My coworkers and I would complete to see who could get in and out the fastest. My record was 6 seconds buying a single bottled tea.

[–] flashgnash@lemm.ee 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Apparently those are being phased out now because they weren't really automatic, just outsourced to people in india

[–] BreakDecks@lemmy.ml 4 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Yeah, it appears that the system was computer-assisted, not computer-controlled. Amazon tried to "fake it till you make it", but never made it.

Another L for AI.

[–] flashgnash@lemm.ee 3 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Nothing wrong with AI, it's a tool that's very good at specific problems

Tech companies just don't know what is and isn't a good use case yet

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[–] Oneeightnine@feddit.uk 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Don't know about how it is in the US, but in the UK the idea of people rushing to finish their transaction fills me with dread. I've worked in a supermarket with self service and the general public really struggles with them.

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[–] Alice@beehaw.org 5 points 7 months ago

That would stress me out too much. I shop for people for a living and I'm constantly timed. The bosses are obsessed with my metrics. Even if I have to stop to tell a customer or to guard a spill per company policy, all they care about is that I'm not getting 100 items per hour.

If I was being timed for my personal shopping, I'd just start screaming and never stop.

[–] Lizardking27@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Self checkouts are for ~~stealing~~ recovering what big corpos steal from us, not racing.

[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The shop near me has handheld scanners so you scan as you pick stuff off the shelf. Then at the checkout scan a QR code on the screen and pay. Makes it super quick.

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[–] SecretPancake@feddit.de 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)
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