just some rambling (cw racism)

moved from rural yorkshire to montreal last year
been thinking a lot about yorkshire, i miss it a lot - being surrounded by hills in valleys for 20ish shaped me a lot i think..
for the first few years of my life i essentially lived in a slum in bradford; from as early i can remember my mum told me about how nice bradford was during her childhood and blamed polish and pakistani people for ruining it. of course, she was describing white flight and the intentional destruction of bradford by the state wielding the automobile.

blah blah p*kis caused this

that's racist

i would say

(mockingly) that's racist

she would reply to 7 or 8 year old me. what 0 materialism does to a mf!

a couple of years ago i moved to a town in the happy valley with a trans girl from northern ireland i met on 4chan, we'd only met irl once before moving in together (purely platonic). she was a complete lib and i only realised how rude and cruel she'd been to me after i moved out. we were both desperate to get away from our parents. she'd make constant comments about my weight (not that it matters, but I had a normal BMI!) and call me a 0 effort passoid. eventually i cut her off after a fucking episode of the rehearsal of all things. we still lived together for a few weeks and during that time she ruined some of my medication that i had to keep in the fridge. it was the zionist episode and she had some interesting opinions on jews. she justified those opinions to me after i challenged her on them, "everyone on twitter says...."

i feel an overwhelming sense of powerlessness when i think of yorkshire. god's own country, truly. the conditions some people live in there are horrible. as soon as i moved to quebec i could only think how people would react if they knew how high north american living standards are. i miss the market towns (despite being full of pensioners), i miss the cities (despite being full of londoners), i miss the stunning landscape (despite it being continually ravaged). the roman empire was once ruled from york and now it's a glorified tourist attraction. i feel like i lost something i never had