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If you watch the testimonies of Near Death Experiences on YouTube, a general theme is that the sensation of dying, once you have passed over is one of a great relief like a great weight has been lifted from your soldiers. And those that get sent back often have regrets after returning to their body to complete their earthly missions, as the physical body is so heavy and uncomfortable. But there is usually a great sense of purpose attached to being here, even though most of the time these things are hidden from us. Maybe the reason these things are shrouded in mystery is so people don't off themselves to get back to paradise. I have also seen some testimonies of suicide NDE's and past-life regression hypnosis accounts in which people whose lives were prematurely cut short were reincarnated very soon after dying in order to learn the lessons or complete the missions/purpose of the life that was cut short.
My dad suffered a heart attack and died suddenly about a year ago. I've never been religious or very spiritual, but after his death I became a lot more open to peoples' various ideas on the afterlife. There was such an unfair finality to losing him. I always feel as though he's right there on speed dial, even at this moment, but when I go to reach out to him I'm reminded that he isn't ever going to pick up even though he still feels close. It's like he's always on the tip of my tongue.
Of all the things I've read and heard in my exploration of the topic since, NDEs are hands-down the most comforting and convincing of them all. Even if it's all some kind of grand and miraculous illusion that we endure across all cultures, with or without any physical brain activity, the thought of him finding peace and comfort in that moment of death and choosing not to return to his body is very beautiful to me. My dad lived a life or immense chronic pain. His leg was obliterated as a young man and reassembled with rods. He had degenerative disks in his spine, rheumatoid arthritis, etc. So many memories are of him whincing and breathing through pain. Of course he wouldn't return to that battered and broken body.
So while it still feels shitty, and still feels unfair, I take solace in the thought of him shedding that shit, seeing his dad (suicide) and mom (cancer) with him again, and choosing to return to the ether, knowing full well that my mom, my brother, and myself will heal, and be okay, and reunite with him eventually too on the other side.
And when I die, even if it's all a last-minute illusion, I hope it gives me the peace I need to let go too.
DMT and the desire to be on tee vee.