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Local Teachers Union Announces Plans to Invade Gaza in Order to Secure Government Funding (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 7 months ago by ZeroCool@vger.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

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[–] cannedtuna@lemmy.world 102 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Joseph Flannery, a 7th grade Social Studies teacher, admitted he’s looking forward to his deployment.

“I’m in my late 50s and I’m sad to admit I get winded walking from my car to my classroom, but I thought about it and I can either get shot in a war overseas or I can get shot by some active shooter while I do a lesson about the Revolutionary War,” said Flannery.

Fucking gold.