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What's a good way to tell people who ask for my contact info that I don't do social media without sounding unintentionally condescending? (hexbear.net)

submitted 7 months ago by TheDeed@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net

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Sometimes people I just met (in a platonic context) will ask me things like "hey, what's your Instagram, let's keep in touch!"

My standard answer is that I don't do social media, but I have found that people take it as bragging perhaps? I get answers like "oh, good for you! I wish I didn't" or whatever.

If I say oh here's my number that seems too odd these days, people not that much younger than me (I'm 31) don't seem to text anymore. They use fb messenger or Instagram or others.

Also saying something like "I'm a privacy advocate and I use the fediverse" is also an odd thing to say unless I'm around techy people and even then it's weird tbh.

How do I approach this? I don't think I am better than people that use social media, its just not for me. I would prefer to text but I am not sure that works for a lot of people.

Or should I just bite the bullet and get an Instagram so that I don't seem weird, and then perhaps ask for further contact details via that platform?

Abstaining from social media can be extremely alienating.

autistic btw if you couldn't tell lmao, I have spent a lot of time thinking about this problem

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[–] nothx@hexbear.net 6 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I don’t think there is a best way to tell people this info. No matter what you say it’s conflicting with the social norms and some people will always do a double take at it.

Personally, I would just keep doing what you are doing. As someone who also abandoned all mainstream social media, the weird reactions are few and far between now. In fact multiple people in my life have taken the same stance. It may have taken them a few extra years, but they eventually came around.

When it comes down to it, if something isn’t servicing your needs, you shouldn’t feel obligated to continue participating. I totally understand the FOMO or having to do the uncomfortable explanation of your seemingly contrarian actions, but at the end of the day do what’s best for you. The people who are worth your time will understand and adapt. Eventually they may even follow suite.