this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2024
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[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 38 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Can we not do the homophobic trope where everyone who hates gay people must be secretly gay?

[–] CaptainEffort@sh.itjust.works 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I wouldn’t call it a homophobic trope, there’s a lot of truth to it. Closeted gay men in these hardcore homophobic communities tend to have massive self loathing issues, and take it out on everyone else.

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)
[–] barsoap@lemm.ee 1 points 3 months ago

Shit being uncomfortable has no relation to whether it's true or not.

[–] Grail@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Idk, a 1996 study of 60 men doesn’t sound definitive. That’s their best evidence?

Edit: the study is, as I expected, not great. The homophobic men were far more aroused by the lesbian and straight content. The article is also misleading in saying all of the homophobic men were aroused by gay porn. It was actually around half. So we’re talking roughly 18 men. However, erections can happen for a number of reasons. Fear, for example, can cause erections. These homophobic men had just taken a survey about homophobia. Knowing what the study was about, wouldn’t they be afraid of being labeled as gay? I don’t buy the results.

[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Fear, for example, can cause erections.

I have never had a fear boner in my life.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

While we think of erections as a response to sexual arousal, it’s important to know that many of the erections a person has over their lifetime will pop up as a result of something else entirely. Changes in blood flow, hormonal fluctuations, high levels of stress, anxiety, or nervousness, and even changes in ambient temperature can cause erections—other times, there’s no discernible cause whatsoever. Called “spontaneous” or “unprovoked” erections, they’re an ordinary (albeit sometimes conspicuous) physiological response.

A lot of these unprovoked erections—between three and five per night, on average—happen while their owners are sound asleep. They typically happen during the rapid eye movement (REM) sleep stage, a phase associated with vivid dreaming. Interestingly, however, these erections are not typically related to sexual arousal or dreams of a sexual nature, although they can co-occur.

https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/worried-about-getting-unwanted-erections-youre-not-alone

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago

I’ve never pissed my pants in fear. I’ve never had a lot of reactions other people do. Doesn’t invalidate it

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 2 points 3 months ago

Homophobia causes (something similar to) gayness. But it’s not gayness as a sexuality, it’s gayness as a fetish. One that degrades and hurts the men they fetishise.

Well that's actually believable... It still Seems like being gay with a couple extra steps but I understand there is some nuance here.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I tried suggesting this the other day and a bunch of people argued "no, saying all homophobes are queer does not mean queer people are responsible for their own bigotry" despite it meaning exactly that.

My favorites were the ones who thought saying "everyone is queer, it's on a spectrum" somehow changed that implication.

And their "evidence" was "look at all the homophobes who turned out to be gay" as if that was the vast majority of the bigots.

Also, my saying things like "you could argue that everyone is a little disabled and therefore all ableists are self-hating disabled people" got me told that's different. Not how it was different though.

All I know is that it's only ever queer people who get blamed for their own bigotry.

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Hey, I think I banned the guy who insulted you in that thread!

Edit: or at least I deleted one of his insults

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago
[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world -2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

When it stops being true people will stop mentioning it. Let me know if you need lots of articles about conservative leaders caught in the act.

Look, it's basic psychology. I am straight so for me I don't get the desire to have gay sex. If I disproved of gay sex I still wouldn't want a law against it because I simply don't understand why anyone would want to engage in it. If I were in the closet and didn't approve of it of course I would want a law against it, because I would know how tempting it was. Drug laws do make a bit of sense because all of us have a desire to be free of cold unfeeling existence for a little while. Drugs are naturally tempting, unlike homosexuality which is only tempting to a small fraction of the population.

You need the right combination of wanting something and not approving of what you want. Any other combination is not going to result in that outcome.

The louder the homophobic rant, the deeper in the closet.

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I am straight and, therefore, the authority on all things gay. It does not matter that the LGBTQ community has repeatedly condemned this as homophobic, problematic, and untrue. I found an article confirming my preconceived notion, so it must be right!

Nice argument. If you want articles, I’ve already posted them in this comment section.

[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world -1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Might want to look up how quotes work. Nah I don't want your articles. You got an argument, you can make it yourself.....after you learn how quotes work

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Weird, you must have edited what you said and replaced everything with synonyms. Oh well, my quote still captures what you meant

[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Hmm, I keep rereading it and I don’t see any differences

[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago

Not a me problem