The Buddha: Life is always full of suffering, so you should abandon the pursuit of wealth and enjoy the time you have.
Perfidious Albion and the Miserly Dutch: If you do not become wealthy it means that Jesus hates you and will send you to hell.
The name of the webcomic is "Webcomic Name," it's pretty good, like a simplified version of Pictures for Sad Childen.
Being born in the rich familiy is the surest way for being rich and famous, so those things are assured much earlier than 1 minute after being born.