this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
38 points (100.0% liked)

traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

928 readers
88 users here now

Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.

  1. Please follow the Hexbear Code of Conduct

  2. Selfies are not permitted for the personal safety of users.

  3. No personal identifying information may be posted or commented.

  4. Stay on topic (trans/gender stuff).

  5. Bring a trans friend!

  6. Any image post that gets 200 upvotes with "banner" or "rule 6" in the title becomes the new banner.

  7. Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.

  8. When made outside of NSFW tagged posts, comments about dysphoria/traumatic/transphobic material should be spoiler tagged.

  9. While this is mostly a meme community, we allow most trans related posts as we grow the trans community on the fediverse.

If you need your neopronouns added to the list, please contact the site admins.

Remember to report rulebreaking posts, don't assume someone else has already done it!

Matrix Group Chat:

Suggested Matrix Client: Cinny

https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:chapo.chat

WEBRINGS:

Transmasculine Pride Ring flag-trans-pride

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I just need to share some meandering thoughts, please bear with me.

The way I think and feel emotions is strange to me. I've spent so much time in my own head conceptualizing things I can't always process my own thoughts.

I feel like there's this veil over all my perception that I can just barely catch a sense is there. I especially get it when listening to music with certain ethereal sounds. Sleep is another avenue where I try to press on this boundary, but I've never felt like I've broken through. I have a vague spiritual sense about it and I feel like realizing my trans identity was the biggest turn towards understanding it. I'm also neurodivergent with ADHD and a good bit of trauma, when I started my stimulant meds it made all these things more manageable, but there's still this uncomfortable disquiet always on my mind. Anyone else feel this way or something akin to it?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Yor@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

I definitely do, but I think the source of that is complicated. CPTSD with dissociation as my go to coping strategy took a while for me to sort through and, even though I have a better handle on it now, it can still make things cloudy. I also try to be careful about letting my my mind drift or wander too much, cause I can really just exist in thoughts for a long time if I let myself. Part of that was definitely due to waiting to transition until I was in a safe place, but it's also trauma from non-trans related things that happened where I grew up. It's definitely annoying and feels like there are days where a significant amount my energy goes to staying present and anything past that is difficult