this post was submitted on 31 May 2024
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The Onion

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[–] simple@lemm.ee 50 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I expect this'll be in nottheonion within 3 days

[–] casmael@lemm.ee 12 points 7 months ago

Until then the onion is staying ahead of the curve (just)

[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 7 months ago

Maybe they try to be cellmates with him.

[–] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 22 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] worldwidewave@lemmy.world 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

A real patriot would get 34 felony charges

[–] Guntrigger@sopuli.xyz 1 points 6 months ago

What a great initiative to whittle away the MAGAs.

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Of course I totally believed this before checking where I am lol

[–] eran_morad@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

Me too bruh, me too.

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago

You can eat one onion, as a treat.

[–] eran_morad@lemmy.world 10 points 7 months ago

JFC I was 100% ready to believe this.

[–] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 8 points 7 months ago

For staunch MAGA Republican and binge-drinker Justin Brently, getting another DUI in support of Tump was the most important day in his life. For serial drunk driver, killer of Kevin Ade, and small-time political bully Ian Smith, it was Tuesday.

[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 6 points 6 months ago

I didn't realize this was the onion for the longest time and I was pretty unfazed tbh

[–] goferking0@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 7 months ago

This how iowas governor tries to get the vp spot after going all in for DeSantis?

[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

I am so owned. Good job! Too bad it's the onion.

[–] VeryImportantUser@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

Arrest them all.

[–] raoulraoul@midwest.social -5 points 7 months ago (2 children)

DWI? DUI? What's the difference? The ~~drunks~~ alcohol enthusiasts over at Forbes magazine explain the difference…for those of you who don't have to cover one eye to focus.


Stay sick, scratch glass, turn blue, climb walls…but don't get caught!
!detroit@midwest.social!michigan@midwest.social!music@midwest.social

[–] ZeroCool@vger.social 6 points 7 months ago

What the fuck are you babbling about?

[–] lolcatnip@reddthat.com 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

DUI is "driving under the influence" of alcohol and DWI is "driving while intoxicated". So DWI is less specific.

[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

Actually the DUI carves a broader swath because you can be under the influence but not intoxicated.