this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2024
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Funny

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[–] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 40 points 3 months ago (2 children)

A housecat can kill a level 1 commoner, you know.

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

But it can't jump (I don't remember if that ever got errata'd or is being changed in OneD&D)

[–] psud@aussie.zone 5 points 3 months ago

On a crit it can kill a level 1 wizard

[–] lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You could take any one of those completely out of context and they'd still be solid.

[–] moistclump@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

I’ve already been living my life on these tenets.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 25 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Knew a guy who asserted he could easily fight several cats at once and win. I truly hope he finds out one day.

[–] UndercoverUlrikHD@programming.dev 35 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Any healthy adult human could though. An old friend of mine accidently killed a cat with a single kick while "defending" his cat that was being attacked (I wasn't there so don't ask how). He was ~14 years old at the time. At the end of the day, humans are large animals, most of just don't want to hurt other creatures so we restrain ourselves.

[–] IMongoose@lemmy.world 32 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Completely agree. The textbook is talking about fighting a cat to help it, not destroy it. You would get bit for sure but could easily win.

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Now how big could the cat get before it is a fair 1v1

[–] m_f@midwest.social 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Somewhere smaller than a tiger, that would win 100% of the time. I'd guess 30 lbs is where things start to get serious

[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 7 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Humans have fought off hungry cougars. Sadly, not all humans have.

[–] Couldbealeotard@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago (2 children)

But are we talking a fight before one side backs down? Or a fight to the death?

[–] psud@aussie.zone 3 points 3 months ago

I don't think cats back down unless they can run away

[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 1 points 3 months ago

Actual fights between humans and cougars. The cougars get killed by other humans if they "win". The cougar runs away if the human wins.

[–] Illuminostro@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

A woman near my hometown strangled a rabid bobcat that came after her daughter with her bare hands. Multiple broken fingers, major lacerations, but she got him. Barely. Bobcats are 2 to 3 times the size of a housecat, for those who don't know.

Sadly, not all humans have. You still talking about cats?

[–] MindTraveller@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 months ago

Yeah we're really World Of Cardboarding it up at all times. You know the stereotypes about crackheads being dangerous in a fight? That capacity is inside us at all times.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

I said several, but as the memory returns I'm recalling he might have claimed as much as twenty at once.

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That's such a fantastically stupid opinion to have that a dose of reality might do him some good

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

It was far from his worst. I had to ditch that guy.

Edit: very far, to be clear

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 0 points 3 months ago

It was far from his worst.

This does not surprise me in the least

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 14 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Instructions Unclear: Took steroids, turned off brain; locked in never ending combat with cat.

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

No the instructions were pretty clear, this is on you. Did you maybe turn off your brain before reading the instructions?

In any case, please send cat pictures.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I am just a cat climbing toy 😭

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 7 points 3 months ago
[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 months ago

I have been prescribed steroids since I was a kid. That is the benefit of having asthma.

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The fuck is a "fair fight"?

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

No tactical nuclear weapons, cluster bombs, sharp sticks etc. for the monkey with opposable thumbs

[–] Illuminostro@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Well, that's just loser talk. ALWAYS nuke from orbit.

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 months ago

Welp my Scorched Earth char is out I guess

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 5 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Don't fight a cat everyday

[–] OpenStars@discuss.online 9 points 3 months ago

Fight a cat, steal its drugs, repeat when you run out, got it!

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 2 points 3 months ago

Preferably don't fight a cat any day