That’s stupid, humans make terribly inefficient slaves:

• can’t see in the dark
• can’t follow a pheromone trail
• can’t carry more than 6 times its body weight
• can’t eat rocks
• can’t reproduce more than once a year
• gets depression

Hyper-advanced alien race, my foot. Any overlord worth its salt knows ants are far superior, and I won’t worship any cosmic entity that doesn’t.

🤔

😑

🤨

🤡

What?!? My guides are Chenwae, too! What a coincidence!

My guides told me they want everyone to send me $5, each, and if everyone on Earth participates, they'll come and give us the perpetual motion devices we can use to solve the world's energy problems and thereby save the environment! And also they'll give everyone a pound of platinum, and cure cancer, too.

So, let's chip in, everyone! $5 is a small price to pay for world peace!

I know someone who has "guides" like thisb but a different "species". It seems to be semi-common in some people with very low self esteem who have a deep desire to feel special. Not necessarily schizophrenia (but I am not a psych professional). It's really sad.

I need to take notes. Hang on, let me get my crayons.

Dude, you're not supposed to believe what the universe tells you after eating a fistful of mushrooms.

Biologist here. Thats not how evolution works.