this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2023
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Showerthoughts

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A "Showerthought" is a simple term used to describe the thoughts that pop into your head while you're doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming. A showerthought should offer a unique perspective on an ordinary part of life.

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I don't want to get too political in shower thoughts, but this would solve a lot of the hot button issues if more people just had safer and supportive environments to escape to and volunteers / paid professionals to help them on the other end.

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[–] skweetis@kbin.social 42 points 1 year ago (4 children)

This is one example of how the current criminal justice system prioritizes capitalism over public safety. People who live paycheck to paycheck don't have resources to remove themselves from situations where they know they are in danger. Most people are murdered by people they know, not strangers. This is especially true in terms of women's pay inequality, where this systemic failure makes it harder for women to separate themselves from abusive partners, who often end up killing them. If you want to reduce murders, you need some wealth distribution, not more policing.

[–] Today@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That was the whole point of defund the police - shift social/mental health services to people who are trained in those areas and let cops focus on crime rather than domestic disturbances.

[–] gdbjr@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It was a shame they went with such a terrible name for this. It just gave the other side way more bs talking points.

Hell the Austin Tx police department (union really) is still butt hurt that they even thought about taking away money from them that they are still refusing to respond to most calls.

[–] brygphilomena@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Dumbest term ever.

It was always reallocate the funds AND responsibilities to some other agency. Let cops do their cop shit and let homeless and the mentally ill get dealt with by people who care and know how to deal with em.

[–] TwoGems@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Just more proof they should be defunded for being utterly useless

This is one of the reasons abusers pressure you to quit your job-- so even if you were finanically stable before, you end up becoming financially dependant on them so you can't just leave. It also makes it nigh-impossible for kids, even kids of wealthy families, to escape abusive situations before they're old enough to get a job (and you can bet their parents will run interference to keep that from happening as long as possible, or else figure out a way to coerce them into giving them their paychecks.)

[–] Gorbachof@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I don't think this is just a capitalist problem. I don't think there's been an economic system in human history (practiced, not theorized) that helped the have nots to the same degree as the haves.

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[–] fubo@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago (4 children)

The city I live in has a "crisis services" unit for mental health crises, drug abuse related crises, welfare checks, psychiatric evaluation for hospitalization, and so on.

[–] Therevev@lemm.ee 16 points 1 year ago

I've used one of these before. The main problem is that you're often put on a hold for at least 72 hours.

And while this does help get you out of that immediate crisis, missing 3 days of work and pay can actually put you in a worse position when you get out.

And mental institution stays aren't always super helpful for long-term mental health. Many of them are as bad, if not worse than being in jail.

[–] lechatron@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Same with my city. During the defund the police talk they made national news as an alternative to armed police response to mental health crisises.

[–] FizzlePopBerryTwist@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Is there a 3 digit number you can call?

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] DreamerOfImprobableDreams@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

988 is a phenomenal, life-saving service, but unfortunately they don't help you get in touch with services to get out of dangerous situations.

There is the National Domestic Violence hotline, but they're A) run by a private organization, and B) literally hang up on you unless you're experienceing "intimate partner violence"-- because apparently all other forms of domestic violence don't count!!!

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Sure, I’m not talking about OP’s post, but about the crisis services. 988 can get you in touch with local services, but mostly therapy.

That’s interesting about the domestic violence hotline.

[–] FizzlePopBerryTwist@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I am no longer one of the 86% of Americans who never heard of this

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Pretty new. Only existed for like a year now

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[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Pretty much everyone in the USA is served by mobile crisis teams. 988 will connect you to one

[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

What's the scope of help you're thinking of? Do you need to get out of a home situation for a while? You could drink a 6-12 pack and go to your local AA/NA inpatient rehab. Bring a piece of paper with import phone numbers on it and you can spend 2-4 weeks tucked away where absolutely no one knows where you are except the person(s) you call out to.

I don't condone abusing services like that. But if you really gotta go, there are options.

[–] FizzlePopBerryTwist@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I mean like people stuck in abusive situations, cults, etc.

[–] 520@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Most countries have that. It's called the police. Unless you're talking about shelters and the like?

[–] DreamerOfImprobableDreams@kbin.social 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Police don't help you get out of your home. The best case scenario is they arrest your abuser, who'll be back home the next morning (and hopefully won't retaliate too severely against you for humiliating them). Then, weeks to months later you have a court date-- by which time, your abuser's likely threatened you into saying whatever it takes to get them off the hook, and the judge is more than happy to play along so they can get you out the door and move onto other, "more important" cases.

And again, that's the best case scenario. The worst case scenario is your abuser convinces them you were actually the assaulter, and you're the one going to jail instead! Actually, I lied, that's the second-to-worst case scenario. Worst case scenario is the police do nothing, and leave you alone to deal with your abuser's rage at almost getting them caught. Or, you know, they just charge in guns fucking blazing because your skin's the wrong color.

[–] 520@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So how would this alternative service be any different? Abusers can be extremely adaptive and have outright control of their victims. The playbook of national services are very easy to learn and adapt around.

[–] DreamerOfImprobableDreams@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Maybe not quite what OP was imagining, but I was less focused on the extraction itself and more the destination: a network of safe, private residences you could flee to, then stay at until you've found a job and are ready to move into normal housing. Even better if they have psychological professionals on hand to help you deal with your trauma-- or hell, even staffers who'll help you get in touch with psychological professionals and other resources to help you get back on your feet would be a big plus.

As for the "extraction" itself, yeah, just going in guns blazing wouldn't work. It'd probably have to vary from client to client. Could be something as simple as venmoing you money for an uber. Or maybe you could work together with the staffers on some kind of skullduggery scheme-- like you say you're going out "grocery shopping", then there's a car waiting for you in the grocery store parking lot to take you to the shelters.

Honestly, even just having a friendly voice on the other side of the phone helping you figure out a plan to get out would be a huge help.

[–] 520@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A lot of governments do fund DA networks, including shelters. The reason they don't run them directly is because welfare agencies can't operate with the level of secrecy needed to effectively run the service. Too much would have to be 'on the books'.

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[–] MonsieurHedge@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's called the police.

The police are a form of state-backed organized crime. They're far more likely to kill you than anything else. Bit like asking a rabid dog for protection.

[–] Silviecat44@aussie.zone 6 points 1 year ago

Thats…..extreme. This does not apply everywhere

[–] kairo79@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago

Maybe in the US, but, for example in Germany it's really not like that!

I'm talking about setting you up with a new life and cutting all ties to toxic dangerous people.

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's like half the country....

[–] FizzlePopBerryTwist@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Maybe we'll end up with just 1 half of the country where people are all chill and caring and the other half can be toxic to each other because they thrive off of unhealthy drama. But oh well.

[–] Today@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm in Texas. Guess which half I'll get...

[–] InverseParallax@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

As an escapee from the south, I'd gladly donate to help people make it out.

Nobody should have to live there, it's inhuman.

[–] DreamerOfImprobableDreams@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Absolutely. And safe, private apartments the people being evacced can stay at for a few weeks / months while they look for work. Not "shelters" that are usually anything but (assuming you can even ones with space available for you in your area).

[–] TwoGems@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

They just helicopter you out of a argument you lost

[–] BilboBargains@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I could use this when I'm getting arrested for using illegal substances. They take me to a safe space where I can get high without worrying about incarceration* and inhumane treatment.

[–] FizzlePopBerryTwist@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hate to break it to you, but you've been incarnated already...

[–] BilboBargains@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Let's get carnal baby. I'll bring the caramel.

Not a great time to have diabetes...

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