Some binary and passing trans people get upset when they're in queer spaces and asked for their pronouns or referred to as "they/them" before someone knows their pronouns because in non queer spaces, people assume their gender based off appearance and gender them appropriately (because theyre binary and passing). These people think even in queer spaces you should assume peoples gender based off appearance because it makes them personally feel good to be gendered correctly without having to explain themselves

This doesn't go over well with non passing or non binary trans people for the obvious reasons

I envy your inner calm

Like I said, assimilationist pick me ass motherfuckers.

Like something that's not being brought up here is: it's easier to pass in cisciety than to be stealth in a queer meetup. So are the cis men and women in your LGBT group being they/them'd and asked their pronouns, or is that being subconsciously reserved for the transgender men and women who get clocked? I think both sides of this debate are assuming different fundamentals here.

How exactly do I "pass" as nonbinary?

Alternatively, hire a guy to belt out your pronouns like hes reading royal titles

Catboy removedry

lmao

Hot take, the slur filter doesn't understand context, and as a result, clamps down on various kinds of queer slang. And I think that's cringe.

Like, look at this section from My Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstien, where trans people are describing their experience of gender:

These are beautiful, amazing, and I absolutely adore every single one!

But the Hexbear slur filter would butcher these so bad, they'd read like a Papa Roach radio edit

Or their name? Pretty easy not to misgender someone if you just use their name.

I think truscum are more anti-nonbinary and don't recognize you as trans unless you fully transition and do all your power to assimilate into one of the 2 genders, but I haven't been in truscum spaces for a few years now

There used to be (might still be?) a "folx" contingent but I think most people have concluded (correctly in my book) that "folks" is perfectly gender neutral as is

Theyre being hyperbolic, you're fine

I don't think you're an asshole or even did anything wrong, but yes it does hurt some people. Really depends on person to person but like, when you get misgendered it means you're being perceived as the wrong gender. When everyone does this every day it absolutely grinds me down and just saps all hope from me.

Like, I have to go basically sit in my room and be like, will there ever be a time when I'm not just perceived as some man in a dress or something? It does hurt. And I don't want people gendering me correctly to be some laborious process for them. I don't want people to have to try. I know it's not realistic

But also I definitely understand that it's not the fault of the people perceiving me, it's just reality.

I don't want to misgender but in a random meeting with some one i just met if I accidentally misgender and am corrected I'll apologize and not do it again. (Also working on just dropping gendered terms)

Nah you're good.

Sentiment matters. It only matters when someone intended it, or when someone is clearly not trying and has made the mistake many times even after being told. The latter gets a bit murky and comes down to effort.