You know your job is real and matters when you can literally die and they don't notice for nearly a week.
this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2024
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A Boring Dystopia
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"No you can't work from home, how can we tell if you're actually working or not?"
Wells Fargo allegedly fired over a dozen employees for using mouse jigglers.
I wonder if the check in was disciplinary for insufficient realistic mouse movement.
I did that for 10 months there because they wouldn't assign me work.
I did that because 2 minute screen lock plus crazy long password requirements made working hell. The alternative was going to be an arduino usb hid device that typed the password when a button was pressed.
Having unrealistic, bad security rules are counterproductive.
2 minute screen lock
Are you fucking kidding me? That's ridiculous.
My prior job logged everyone (employees and customers alike) out of the portal after 5 min of inactivity, but uploads to the site often took much longer than that, to say nothing of checking things over, so half the support contacts we got were whining about the timeout, and the only thing I had to say to the people complaining was “yeah man, we have the timeout too, and have to use the site on and off all day, year round, not just for three days a year.. I totally agree with you, it doesn’t help, but even our dummy data on test accounts is subject to those rules, so I can’t help you..”
Instead, I learned the site inside and out by memory (I built the knowledge bases for everything, as a result) and sent the security team every article I could find about how short timeouts were bad for SaaS security because they make people use less secure passwords and skip mfa.
I'm a little surprised that I've never seen bluetooth pressure switches in office chairs to lock workstations when the employee stands up.
Because clearly you need more meddling in your workflow for the sake of security theater.
Pressure plate? Obviously it should be a chair mounted butt plug that locks the screen when removed from anus.
And it gives you electric shocks when you're unproductive. What is productive or not is judged by an AI that us entirely inadequate for the task, so everybody gets random shocks.
And at some point you start enjoying them.
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Or a smartcard based login where you could just remove the card
I was at a company once where they had this. They used a pin for the pc and the smartcard was used everywhere.. opening doors to get to the toilet, paying for lunch.
Employees said it was excellent, as you could not really forget it cause corridor separators had badge locks.. so you can't get anywhere without the card. and once you pull it from the key oards built in reader, the pc locked.
Yeah, I worked in a secure facility that did this and it felt both secure and reasonable. I just kept my card on a lanyard to my belt so I literally couldn't walk away without pulling the card.
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One job I had also had a 2min lockout. My solution was to let a really long YT video play in fullscreen when I left the laptop. That prevented the lockout.
Thanks to whoever uploaded a 10h loop of the Nyan cat song, you are a hero.
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“An employee who spoke with KPNX said Prudhomme’s cubicle was on the third floor and away from the main aisle.
The employee, who did not want to be named, said several people had smelled a foul odor but passed it off as faulty plumbing.”
It's the smell of corporate America.
I have never felt more alone thinking of this for her. Relates too close to home, for me anyway.
I have smelled both sewage and decomposition, and my sense of smell isn't the best but God damn how do you confuse one for the other? They smell nothing alike!
No, nothing alike, but the employee likely shit and piss themselves and that was the smell. Not sure a corpse is decomposing much in only 4 days, especially in a climate controlled office.
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This is one of the saddest things I have read.
I would be so pissed if I died at work like that. If being a ghost is an option after death I'd haunt the fuck out of the ceo, my boss, and anyone else responsible for whatever fucked system lead to that.
I truly feel bad for that woman. No one should die in a fucking office working for some corrupt fucking company.
I would try and do the most annoying shit to executives. Hide coffee, close out of open programs on their PC. Unlock the stall door and open it when they're pooping. Stuff like that.
I'm not sure how I feel about this, really. On the one hand it's depressing as fuck for this to happen to someone, on so many obvious levels. But on the other hand, I would LOVE a job where I am so sufficient left the fuck alone that it would take 4 days for coworkers to realize I was gone.
They probably only started looking because they thought she was defrauding the company by not clocking out.
The "four days" part seems sensationalized... sounds like she clocked in on Friday and was found on Tuesday. So it seems like at most she wasn't missed for one business day.
They found her because her corpse started decomposing and it smelled bad. If that hadn't happened due to better ventilation or whatever, it would have been longer. It's pretty disturbing either way.
And that's setting aside that you'd measure her hours dead in "business days" and excuse the company for it? Didn't you feel gross including that in a sentence about someone? Her body wasn't being mailed out for shipping. It was decomposing on the office floor, on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. WellsFargo is indeed open on Saturdays for partial services, and they have security every day in their buildings. That it wasn't "full business days," is some kind of Corporate Erin speech. "Business days" are for communicating a timeline on goods, they are not for excusing company negligence with DEAD PEOPLE.
Business days are important because that's when people work, and would be there to find them. And what's to excuse? Wells Fargo didn't kill em. People die, if you find a company that makes you immortal let me know.
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I instead imagine someone from HR pissed storming in her cubicle wanting to shout "hey you need to clock in and clock out every day, ok???"
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The building has 24/7 security though, so it would have been easy to find her on a Saturday or Sunday if they walked around a bit or checked cameras...
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Too bad she didn't stay there for a week, the overtime pay would have covered her funeral..
lol the corporation will find out the exact second she died from the coroner and then truncate the time card to that second
cuz fuck the family, labor laws don't apply after death
And then charge her checking account a $15 monthly service fee for insufficient direct deposits
And a cleaning fee for the desk, and a phone line rental fee, and also opened 3 extra credit cards in her name while she was dead.
My business partner in his previous job went into the office early one day and found one of his coworkers jacking off in his cubicle. Guess he'd been doing it for years, showing up before everyone and jerking it in a different place every time. That company he worked for: Boeing. They were engineers and they developed the predator drones.
Who better to design military drones than an expert on dropping loads on unsuspecting innocents(and their office supplies)?
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None of what you said surprises me.
It offends me (them, not you), but it doesn't surprise me.
Of course the response will be “we need to bring everyone back into the office 24/7 because how else will we certify our employees are alive ?? !” cant wait for Wells Fargo to sue the family for wages paid while deceased plus damages to their property for a corpse being left unattended.
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The employee also said while most Wells Fargo employees at the Tempe location work from home, the building has 24/7 security, and that someone should have found Prudhomme sooner.
Sounds like their building security is a joke.
“The body was there about four days before anybody found it before anybody walked up to her and just to say hi, make sure she’s OK. She was just lying on her desk,” an employee said.
Sounds like her coworkers and managers are jerks a little bit [or maybe she was, and people were avoiding her, I guess]
Wonder if they have to pay out to what the coroner determines is the time of death?
Hey she was still at work, she gets the full 4 days!
My boss would find me immediately cuz he requires fantasy football advice
I suspect this is similar to how someone is going to find my carcass.
I always call in sick if I'm gonna die at work...so far 100% success rate haven't died yet!
Four. Days..
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