Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

462

Anon makes a splash on a first date (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 3 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 93 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Next time, shout, "OH MY GOD, YOU MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD THAT I PISSED MYSELF!!!"

The best kind of partner would take that as a compliment and probably want to go on more dates to see if they could do it again.

[–] SsxChaos@lemmy.ml 33 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I like the way you think (⁠☞⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)⁠☞

[–] Befernafardofo@feddit.it 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Username checks out?

[–] uranibaba@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

Username checks in.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 45 points 3 months ago

Anon meets another anon with a kink for bathing in piss, a classic love story.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 37 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Could’ve saved the swim for another night and gone to calicocutpant.com. But if you use it, you gotta give.

[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 23 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

A domain parking page?

Edit: found the real page, it is:
https://getcalicocutpants.com/

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 months ago

Yeah, the guy who started it, Rick, is completely under water. The whole thing’s really blown up in his face.

[–] swab148@startrek.website 7 points 3 months ago

You hit me in the cup

[–] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 36 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Smooth and resourceful af. The only downside is you can't tell him.

[–] riodoro1@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago

It might have been his kink.

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago

Femanon should have went with "I'm a squirter and I get aroused really easily"

[–] jimmydoreisalefty@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago

Quick thinking resulted in a win-win situation, nice!

[–] don@lemm.ee 10 points 3 months ago

Anon took the rather rare pmlol as a writing prompt.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

Jumping in water isn’t going to wash away that Mountain Dew and tendy piss quick enough.