Lemmy Shitpost
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
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Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
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All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
I'm straight, but 12kg of free, fresh Wisconsin cheese might open me to negotiations.
GOALS
Dating in Wisconsin
You cant just post something wild and not provide a source, I want to read this book.
Looks like "The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft" by Kathryn Paulsen.
I couldn't verify it but that's the name I found too.
Edit: goddamn a used mass market paperback copy is $50 on eBay. Nevermind I guess I won't be getting burned at the stake.
Here is the page:
that got a lot worse in the 2nd sentence
Good old archive.org to the rescue
Still though, I've never been a big fan of ebooks. As terminally online as I am, I've never been able to get into it.
Just a different vibe I guess
Page 98.
Not with that attitude.
What!? Witchcraft? Magic? I don't believe in that bullshit, but you most definitely can win a woman's heart with cheese. That's just a scientific fact.
It's true. I once gave a woman cheese, and we were fucking within 10 minutes.
We also planned to hookup that night already, but it had to be the cheese.
Was it some sort of blind hookup Tinder-like, and the "password" was a real, actual piece of cheese?
Like with spy craft, "I'll be at the plaza at 10pm, sitting on the bench in front of the fountain. I will be wearing a Gary Coleman "OBEY" t-shirt and carrying a dark green backpack. You will ask me for a piece of cheese".
Nothing like that. I just offered to get some cheese for a pre-hookup snack.
Wanna grab some cheese before we bone?
"Before we bone, I must tell you... I ate radishes earlier. Perhaps you should, too."
And that's how you get on equal footing before jumping into the sack.
That's rad... ish
And here I thought I had to share her interests and perform thoughtful acts. Cheat code unlocked.
I mean, if you have a shared interest in cheese this probably counts as a thoughtful act.
I think this can work with men too. I know this because I am a man and love cheese. I love cheese so much that I go through the pain of being lactose intolerant just to eat me some of that cheese.
I hope some insane person has tried all these things.
That would attract far too many women.
That whole page is full of wild shit.
So you've tried these techniques and they didn't work? Or have you not tried them at all?
Bro tried them all but has skill issue
woe is bro
βBaby, stop running. I have muenster!β
If she's running she doesn't know what muenster is If she does know what it is and still runs, shes possibly insane and you are both better off
I always just pick up one of those double-packs of condoms and cheese on date night. You know, the no-Babybel Bundle.
I know several women this would work on.
Works gooda enough eh?
Gouda
Fellas, if you're girl is skinny, tall, red , works at a charity to make someone smile π¬, is. Obsessed with π ±οΈheese, that's not your grill, that's Elan from family guy! π€
Thank God I kept all the left shoes as a token!
(This is a joke)
useless red circle
I need the text highlighted please, I've no idea what anyone is talking about...
Burn what after you have perspired heavily in and introduce it to the food or drink of a man?!?
I gave my partner cheese and we've been together for almost ten years, this is probably true.
Wisdom.
Search for Pink and Brie.