this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] blackjam_alex@lemmy.world 81 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 29 points 2 weeks ago

I'm straight, but 12kg of free, fresh Wisconsin cheese might open me to negotiations.

[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 weeks ago

Dating in Wisconsin

[–] MontyBGud@lemmy.world 43 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You cant just post something wild and not provide a source, I want to read this book.

[–] GrabtharsHammer@lemmy.world 31 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Looks like "The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft" by Kathryn Paulsen.

[–] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

I couldn't verify it but that's the name I found too.

Edit: goddamn a used mass market paperback copy is $50 on eBay. Nevermind I guess I won't be getting burned at the stake.

[–] Omgboom@lemmy.zip 28 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] genfood@feddit.org 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] TriflingToad@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

that got a lot worse in the 2nd sentence

[–] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

Good old archive.org to the rescue

Still though, I've never been a big fan of ebooks. As terminally online as I am, I've never been able to get into it.

Just a different vibe I guess

[–] Sadrockman@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago

Not with that attitude.

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

What!? Witchcraft? Magic? I don't believe in that bullshit, but you most definitely can win a woman's heart with cheese. That's just a scientific fact.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 28 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's true. I once gave a woman cheese, and we were fucking within 10 minutes.

We also planned to hookup that night already, but it had to be the cheese.

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Was it some sort of blind hookup Tinder-like, and the "password" was a real, actual piece of cheese?
Like with spy craft, "I'll be at the plaza at 10pm, sitting on the bench in front of the fountain. I will be wearing a Gary Coleman "OBEY" t-shirt and carrying a dark green backpack. You will ask me for a piece of cheese".

[–] frezik@midwest.social 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Nothing like that. I just offered to get some cheese for a pre-hookup snack.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Wanna grab some cheese before we bone?

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

"Before we bone, I must tell you... I ate radishes earlier. Perhaps you should, too."
And that's how you get on equal footing before jumping into the sack.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 4 points 2 weeks ago

That's rad... ish

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

And here I thought I had to share her interests and perform thoughtful acts. Cheat code unlocked.

[–] zephr_c@lemm.ee 5 points 2 weeks ago

I mean, if you have a shared interest in cheese this probably counts as a thoughtful act.

[–] madkins@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago
[–] TommySoda@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

I think this can work with men too. I know this because I am a man and love cheese. I love cheese so much that I go through the pain of being lactose intolerant just to eat me some of that cheese.

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I hope some insane person has tried all these things.

[–] Arbiter@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago

That would attract far too many women.

[–] Even_Adder@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That whole page is full of wild shit.

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

So you've tried these techniques and they didn't work? Or have you not tried them at all?

[–] pkmkdz@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Bro tried them all but has skill issue

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

β€œBaby, stop running. I have muenster!”

[–] VonCesaw@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

If she's running she doesn't know what muenster is If she does know what it is and still runs, shes possibly insane and you are both better off

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I always just pick up one of those double-packs of condoms and cheese on date night. You know, the no-Babybel Bundle.

[–] Tenthrow@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I know several women this would work on.

[–] supercriticalcheese@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] JoeKis@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Fellas, if you're girl is skinny, tall, red , works at a charity to make someone smile 😬, is. Obsessed with πŸ…±οΈheese, that's not your grill, that's Elan from family guy! 😀

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

Thank God I kept all the left shoes as a token!

(This is a joke)

[–] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Book written by Charlie Kelly

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[–] Banichan@dormi.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Redfox8@mander.xyz 2 points 2 weeks ago

I need the text highlighted please, I've no idea what anyone is talking about...

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

Burn what after you have perspired heavily in and introduce it to the food or drink of a man?!?

[–] Voyajer@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 3 points 2 weeks ago

Keep her fascinated even longer with some Himalayan chewy cheese!

[–] menjegfikk@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

I gave my partner cheese and we've been together for almost ten years, this is probably true.

[–] Squeezer@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Schlemmy@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 weeks ago

Search for Pink and Brie.

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