this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2024

461 points (98.3% liked)

The Onion

4698 readers

511 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

seahorse@midwest.social

pbrisgreat@midwest.social

461

Man Asserts Being Conservative Divorced Dad Whose Kids Won’t Speak to Him Anymore is The New Punk Rock (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 3 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

31 comments fedilink hide all child comments

all 32 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] Bbbbbbbbbbb@lemmy.world 64 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I know someone that said "country is the new punk" and he got laughed out of the room

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 23 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I've posted this before, but truck jeans beer girl creek boots truck

[–] ZeroCool@slrpnk.net 19 points 3 months ago

Deservedly so.

[–] ValorieAF@lemmy.world 47 points 3 months ago (1 children)

MAGA punks fuck off

[–] ohellidk@sh.itjust.works 22 points 3 months ago (2 children)

They're not "punk" by any definition. Conformism isn't punk.

[–] bamfic@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Neither were Nazis, but the song still slaps and was absolutely necessary. https://youtube.com/watch?v=PzHLPnGuVSQ. TLDR iconic punk band with two Jews and a Black guy got tired of skinhead punks showing up wearing Nazi shit and being racist, and wrote this.

[–] TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Didnt the punk community make a hobby of beating the shit out of nazis that showed up to concerts?

[–] chaogomu@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Some parts of the punk community punch Nazis on sight, yes. Particularly in the British punk community.

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

Someone’s gotta tell them they don’t belong

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 46 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I always find it weird that this lot obviously thinks punks are cool, yet have nothing in common ideologically. Which for some subcultures might be an understandable blind spot, but with punk it's pretty central to the whole thing.

Honestly can't wrap my head around it.

[–] ZeroCool@slrpnk.net 47 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It’s been a problem for as long as punk rock has existed. Jello Biafra wrote “Nazi Punks Fuck Off” 43 years ago.

Racist pieces of shit have been trying to appropriate punk since day one.

[–] Damage@feddit.it 8 points 3 months ago

Well they want to appear though, even tho they're pansies who's main motivation for anything is fear

[–] mosiacmango@lemm.ee 26 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Punk is intense, high energy and rebellious. It has a unique freedom around it, as you take ownership of your life. The community is accepting and mutual aid is common. It speaks truth to power with no regard for consequences.

They like the vibe of all of those things, but don't want to give up bigotry and accept all people, help others, put themselves and what they have on the line, or stand up to authority to get there.

So they just pose as the "new" punk while living none of it.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

Persecution fetish meets cool response to actual persecution

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

20 years from now:

Being put in one of those corrupt nursing homes you see on Dateline is the new punk rock.

[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Sounds like a dude who'd damage their children by jailing their mother and scarring them with court ordered reunification "therapy"

https://gazette.com/news/rachel-pickerel-hawkins-jailed-colorado-family-court/article_fbd2c37e-b7a0-52b9-92f9-508387387f81.html

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 5 points 3 months ago

Did he get a holographic "the couch"?

[–] jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The Hard Times is just The Onion without all those cumbersome well-written headlines.

[–] ZeroCool@slrpnk.net 1 points 3 months ago

[+] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world -34 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (6 children)

So maybe he's right?

Calm down.

Punk is always about being counter culture. If we deem MAGA a culture, we give it credibility. It's not culture, it's hate filled conspiracy mongering. Therefore it is also counter culture.

Edit: perhaps I should label the satire from now on.

[–] ZeroCool@slrpnk.net 30 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

So maybe he’s right?

Calm down.

This is satire.
Nazi apologists fuck off.

[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 13 points 3 months ago

MAGA seeks to reinforce the status quo and the power structures that uphold it. They're a new iteration of white american culture. They aren't punk, they're anti-punk. They aren't counterculture. They're hyper culture

[–] mosiacmango@lemm.ee 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Punk fights bigotry, they speak truth to power, they help all comers, they put their lives and all that they have on the line for freedom and they break through social norms to live full lives.

Who the fuck in MAGA is doing that? They are bigots shouting lies and hate, trying to force rigid social norms, restrict other peoples freedoms, taking and hoard everything they can. They are raving mad mini thatchers, ripping milk out children's hands while trying to start a race war. What the fuck is punk in that?

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 8 points 3 months ago

Maga punk: Love cops. Sees black guy kneeling in football games a disgrace. Supports Felon. Thinks pedos are disgusting except when it's Trump. Doesnt understand the lyrics to punk songs. Believes they're a victim because someone called them a bad name. Wants to protect babies with action but school shootings is thoughts and prayers.

[–] Wrufieotnak@feddit.org 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Your basic premise is wrong. Punk is not about being counter to mainstream, that was just the appeal for many. Punk is about tearing down hierarchical power structures. And doing that loudly and not by conforming.

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

Yup, today I have learned what not to make satire about, but you're correct.

[–] Coreidan@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Being an utter shit stain doesn’t make you punk.

Punk has nothing to do with counter culture for the sake of being a toxic shit stain.

If you think this is punk then clearly you don’t know the first thing about it.

This reminds me of the dip shit republicans who play “Fortunate Son” at their rallies thinking it’s a patriotic song not realizing it’s actually a song that calls out the rich for being pussies. How ironic.