this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2024
806 points (96.6% liked)

Microblog Memes

5695 readers
1645 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 49 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] mrtea99@lemmy.world 61 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Gun = Rootie Tootie Point and Shootie

[–] Amicitas@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Pointy Shootie

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 45 points 1 month ago

can't believe they left out cruise missile: zoomy boomy

[–] yesman@lemmy.world 44 points 1 month ago (6 children)

FYI: Defibrillators don't start the heart, they stop it.

The heart doesn't stop in many heart attacks. Instead it just beats erratically and in a way that doesn't pump blood well. Shocking the heart to stop it (what a defib does) causes the nerve cells to "reboot" and start beating regularly again.

Shocking a victim who's heart has stopped is useless and automatic defibrillators won't go off until they've detected the arrhythmia.

[–] DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org 27 points 1 month ago

Hearty restarty

[–] Ultraviolet@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It's essentially the "have you tried turning it off and back on again" of cardiology.

[–] WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

When I was a teenager my computer survived years of percussive maintenance. All I'm saying is, have doctors tried beating the shit out of their patients?

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 month ago

Mind blown! 🤯

[–] wurstgulasch3000@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

I blame House MD for this common misconception

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Yes, thank you, I'm glad you mentioned it here, it doesn't happen often enough. I mean, it's even in the name, right? Defibrillator gets rid of fibrillation - the erratic beating!

[–] sudo 2 points 1 month ago

And hippos aren't buoyant.

[–] wallybeavis@lemmy.world 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] TheBrideWoreCrimson@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 month ago

Brazilian Waxing = Shiny Giny

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Beans = Farty Starties

Because they give you gas (pooty booty).

[–] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And if they went bad, you get booty shooty (diarrhea).

[–] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

Beans, beans, the musical fruit, the more you eat, the more you toot.

[–] Atherel@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] like@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

maybe pocket baby

[–] Acamon@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago

The lol per pixel ratio of this meme was significantly above the mean

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

Erectile Dysfunction = Teenie Weenie

[–] tteok@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

I am literally reading this on my squatty potty (if you don't have one - BUY ONE)

[–] Godort@lemm.ee 12 points 1 month ago

It's a travesty that they aren't called "Fuzzy Buzzies"

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 6 points 1 month ago

Pooper scooper -> Poopy Scoopy

[–] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Huh, I thought defibrillators were for arrhythmias, but it's also for cardiac arrest.

[–] Default_Defect@midwest.social 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yup, and it fucking sucks (better than dying though) to have one used on you.

[–] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

...now I want to try it. Which is probably unwise.

[–] HappycamperNZ@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Call of the void.

Yeah, id probably join you.

[–] akincisor@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

It should be called Hearty Stoppy. That's what they do. Stop your heart so it can reboot in safe mode.

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

I am completely on board with this and suggest we amend all the dictionaries immediately.

[–] OneCardboardBox@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 1 month ago

You can thank the US Army for that: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SCR-300

[–] pjwestin@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago
[–] wowwoweowza@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 month ago

Perhaps my favorite meme ever

[–] Seasm0ke@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I call noodles, long ass rice.

[–] Hux@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 month ago

I can only read this in Paul McCartney’s voice…

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Well it's that or the Action Comics method.

Alliteration for everyone!

[–] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 month ago

Tractor trailers = big rigs.

[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Surely Stamps should be called Lickie-Stickie-Posties.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Prison Snitch = Snitchie Bitchies get the Stitchies

[–] fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

Real object names.

[–] affiliate@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

glowy hoppy