this post was submitted on 10 Oct 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] BatrickPateman@lemmy.world 263 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Maybe anon has more luck flirting outside of his household?

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago (2 children)

That, or try breaking his arms.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Yup, more than one way to skin a cat. (BTW, I heard this term as a construction term, as in operating a Caterpillar machine).

[–] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Furiously peels the vinyl off the tractor seat.

[–] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

slowly peels vinyl off the tractor seat Yup. More than one way.

[–] don@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago

I don’t think anon’s mom loves him that much. Anon is anon, after all.

[–] lulztard@lemmy.world 115 points 1 week ago

This could also be a great textbook example of social conditioning. Women and men self-perpetuating gender stereotypes and acting weirded out when they're being violated.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 85 points 1 week ago (4 children)

$100 bucks says Anon is ugly and/or overweight.

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 63 points 1 week ago

Only if the person that made up the fictional character writes it that way.

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 49 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Or just gives off massive fake and gay energy

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

$100 says the green text is an artistic work of falsehood

[–] don@lemm.ee 4 points 1 week ago

tf? green text is always true, anon never makes shit up.

[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

100¢ says anon is a bad flirt.

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Naw, that still assumes anon is a real person, telling a real story.

As a rule, anything posted to /b/ is an artistic work of fiction or falshood, and only a fool would believe otherwise

[–] Glitterbomb@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Isn't that exact quote posted on the top of every page on /b/? Wouldn't that make that rule itself an artistic work of fiction?

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 1 points 6 days ago

Almost exactly, yeah

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

"All those women feeding him"

[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 42 points 1 week ago

Well, it's probably because he's the leper king of Jerusalem, judging by that mask

[–] ladicius@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If your mom is nice to you she simply protects her assets. Her behaviour towards you is in no way an indicator on how attractive you are for potential partners from outside your family.

Her behaviour towards you however may be an indicator on how attractive you are for potential partners inside your family.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

[–] Mandy@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Idk if this is solace for someone or not but as a lesbian I never had it any easier than this hypothetical chap

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

I gave up and found a boyfriend. I'm not even kidding. I'm like...90% lesbian though.

[–] GottaKnowYourCHKN@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 1 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] GottaKnowYourCHKN@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Lesbians aren't toys to play with when you're bored.

I'm a lesbian. I've had times where I'm hella single and don't go to dudes because I'm bored or lonely. If I did, I would consider myself pan/bi.

You're bi, just say you're bi. You can't be a certain percentage of something like that.

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

Nah, I think I'll identify how I please.

Lesbians aren’t toys to play with when you’re bored.

I'm fully aware of this, having been the one toyed with before.

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

It's funny - the bi women I know have a much better understanding of how difficult it is to date women than the straight women do. "But why don't you just do online dating? I had a lot of success meeting men through online dating!"

(Before anyone says anything: yeah, straight women have their own problems.)

[–] Mandy@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

That's called being bi my fellow gril

As for myself, I found a long distance lesbo partner by being an uber mega nerd about am old free visual novel

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Fair, but I really don't consider myself bi. I like women and I like my boyfriend haha.

[–] Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Isn't this situation how the term incel was coined? Like, it was a lesbian who could not get a girlfriend, and eventually started saying she was involuntarily celibate, which got shortened to incel?

[–] TORFdot0@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago
[–] lol_idk@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 week ago

Anon could be autistic

They're a 4channer. So they probably don't smell all that great.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Problem: Anon keeps trying to date his mom

Solution: Anon needs to try using a dating service or app

Or his sisters. Anon has options.

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] comrade19@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

Time for reform

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

Being raised by women doesn’t make you a pussy magnet anon.

[–] bestboyfriendintheworld@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago (3 children)

What no male role models does to a mf.

[–] SitD@lemy.lol 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'm kind of surprised what gets downvoted these days.. do people actually not know that humans are imitation learners in almost every social and scientific aspect? 😨

[–] pancakes@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 week ago

In the same vein I'm shocked how little reading comprehension people have these days (such as this comment) and how people and how quickly people jump to align any information with their worldview. The post even said "majority" with no indication that the father wasn't around. For example someone that has two siblings, both sisters would fit that category.

[–] orcrist@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago

I think you misinterpreted some or most of the downvotes. The problem seems to be the role model that they did find.

The down votes are out of line. There's a reason why toxic masculinity exists, and that's poor or no male role models worth a damn. In the case of dating, it's good to have input from both men and women so you can PID your approach and not come off as some dweeb.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago

op had no male role models because the entire scenario is completely made up for attention on the internet

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