this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2023
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Well today I attended a HS graduation ceremony for my siblings, I myself graduated a few years ago from that school, in that ceremony a classmate of mine sat close to where I was so I had a lot of chances to greet her but I didn't, I was always a shy guy with lots of anxiety but damn I wonder if I left a bad impression.

I was never really close with girls in my class but still I feel bad, regardless I had a brief DM exchange with this classmate a few months ago so it makes me feel worse. ๐Ÿซค

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[โ€“] bby_beluga@beehaw.org 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It helps me to remember that these things work both ways. She had just as much opportunity to greet you as you did to greet her. Neither of you are bad people. Neither of you were there for each other. It's not a bad thing to just be there for your family.

And I'll second that she most likely isn't thinking about this. My neurotic ass might be tempted to DM her, but only if I couldn't find a way to make peace with myself. I hope you find a way to cut yourself some slack ;)

[โ€“] cloudynight88@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I'll avoid DMing her right away as I could make things awkward for real when they don't deserve to be. But I will definitely try to catch up with her later if she's fine with it.

[โ€“] bby_beluga@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That sounds like a good plan! Good luck with it :)

[โ€“] Dee_Imaginarium@beehaw.org 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Idk, I've made direct eye contact with an old classmate years after graduation and he absolutely recognized me and saw that I recognized him. We did a short nod of acknowledgement and never spoke a word. Haven't seen him since.

Just because yoyur classmates doesn't mean you need to be apart of their lives or interact with them after school, or vise versa.

Try not to think about it, but if you're worried it couldn't hurt to message them back and say something "Hey I saw you at the thing but you looked a little preoccupied and I wasn't feeling up to interjecting. How have you been, did you enjoy your time there?"

Acknowledge the thing you're anxious about and use that to branch into a common topic, the event you were just at. You could use it to ask why they were there which could lead to talking about family, what they would have rather been doing which goes into hobbies.

Just talk to them if you're worried about it, but honestly you don't need to worry about it. That's just life sometimes. We go our different ways.

[โ€“] Dankenstein@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you think that they will not understand that anxiety makes social interactions harder, are they worth pursuing? If you do think this way, why?

You're letting it get the best of you right now, odds are that they're probably not even thinking about it.

You still have a chance to speak with them in any case. The only person telling you otherwise is you.

[โ€“] cloudynight88@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You're right I'm thinking through this too much while she might not be thinking about it at all, it isn't worth. Even if she does or did think about it, she knew me for 3 years afterall and would know it's how I am sometimes.

Also true, the DMs are always an options so I can catch up with her anytime.

[โ€“] Dankenstein@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hell yeah, I know all too well how this feels so I've got tears in my eyes but I wish you the best of luck.

[โ€“] cloudynight88@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

Thank you, you've been very helpful!

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