this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2024
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[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 97 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Pretty dangerous for a vampire to invest in a market that's only open during the day.

[–] ImWaitingForRetcons@lemm.ee 45 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] bizarroland@fedia.io 11 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

There's a lot I'd be willing to do for somebody that made me 10 times stronger than the average man and functionally immortal without the weakness of immediately bursting into flames under sunlight.

But I don't think I would kill people for them or bring them victims to kill.

I guess I would not be a very good ghoul.

[–] Hoohoo@fedia.io 11 points 2 weeks ago

There's always CEOs

[–] HakFoo@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

But good ghouls get headpats!

That's the flavour of vampire mind control they never mention in the stories.

[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago

In 2024, we call that a C level position.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

You should watch Renfield.

[–] ours@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Witches have familiars, vampires have thralls—what do they even teach in school these days? /s

[–] ours@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Classic Bram Stoker uses "familiar" as well as "What we do in the shadows".

Vampire lore fiiiight!

[–] whotookkarl@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Good time to invest in a cocaine producer.

[–] jmcs@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 weeks ago

Like some professional investors are not breathing in more cocaine than air to trade 24h around the globe. The current gap is on weekends.

[–] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

That's a very good estimate of what it would be worth today, assuming they average a modest 6.5% return rate.

[–] hswolf@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Starting with 10$

Period of 232 years 1792~2024

An average 8% of annual interest.

Ignoring any due taxes.

Rough income of 568 millions.

If only made 22m he did something very dumb in the process.

[–] hark@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This is always the advice given by the "experts" during retirement "workshops". Have money and invest as much as you can into broad diversified funds. That the market will always grow in the long run because it has so far is taken as almost a guarantee, yet every one of these workshops will include a disclaimer of "Past performance is not indicative of future results". At some point I feel like there's going to a massive rug pull as the rich encourage everyone to put as much money as they can into the system so the rich can use it as exit liquidity. What's even better is that with retirement accounts, you're not allowed to pull out your money until decades into the future without massive penalties, and any changes in your allocations take at least a day to be made. Meanwhile the ultrawealthy have sub-millisecond algorithms at their disposal.

I'm sure when the great rug pull happens, every genius that espoused the common advice will come out and claim that obviously it wasn't sustainable (like the tech bubble or countless other bubbles) and repeat the magic words "Past performance is not indicative of future results", then they'll all suggest some other investment vehicle and that'll become the new common knowledge advice that everyone should follow until that also becomes unsustainable.

No thanks, I'll just do the company match for a guaranteed pay amount and enjoy the rest of my money while I'm young, instead of stashing it away and hoping it doesn't get fucked with in the decades before I can draw from it penalty-free and maybe having a decent chunk of money when I'm old and less capable of enjoying it.

[–] Kanda@reddthat.com 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You probably should stash some away for when unexpected things happen. Unless you want to be that guy who always tries to pay expenses with credit card debt

[–] hark@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I stash away quite a bit, but less in my 401k so that I have access to it whenever I want/need instead of decades into the future.

[–] Kanda@reddthat.com 2 points 2 weeks ago

Good on ya. I have a colleague that's over 50 and he's broke all the time, pretty meh life situation

[–] 1985MustangCobra@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 weeks ago

I wish people in my country would rather invest money than buy up properties and contribute to the housing shortage crisis

[–] LouNeko@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

I wish I had $10 to invest at the end of the month.