Start going out for you not for them
this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2024
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Off My Chest
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This. It's like interviewing. Even if you really need the work, you'll be more confident and more engaging if you approach the interview like you are vetting them
I felt like this after the ending of a reeally long relationship, in the end what worked was actually to stop trying so hard.
I came to the conclusion that no relationship lasts forever, and instead of trying so hard to find someone that really gets me, I started caring more about what I wanted and what I enjoyed.
I started seeing relationships more like, well this may work or not, but I'm having fun till now, I'll enjoy it until I stop enjoying it and after that, no hard feelings, it just didn't work and that's fine.
You have to know that you are a whole person by yourself, you don't really need someone else to complete you, or depend on them. You have to learn to love yourself. If you can muster that confidence to manage that, you'll find that people will find you more attractive, no matter your looks.
This is me rn after a 12 year relationship breakup. I have a hot GF now and I equally enjoy just being home alone than with her or friends. It's about me now.
What sort of person are you looking for? Liking the same things isn't necessarily a requirement. I think values, humor, and personality can overcome a lack of shared interests (or where maybe just a handful overlap).
EDIT: this lawyer gives some pretty damn solid advice on finding someone.
First be happy with yourself.
Then, and only then, can you be happy with other people who are happy to just vibe with you.
I mean, i know what things in life that make me happy. it's just, you would think at my age this shit would of been sorted out, but its like im talking into a echo chamber.
I'll let you in on a secret... We're all of us making it up as we go along. And age adds issues, not subtracts. Methuselah didn't have all his shit together.
yeah, i mean that's what i've been doing so far...
Echo chamber? How do you mean?
like no one else is out there...
Your talking to real life people right now! you are being heard!
Thanks for the kind words.
I guess enjoy your passions and try to meet people who share the same interested. Don’t focus on the gender or finding a date. Just enjoy yourself. Then, maybe you’ll be happy and alone!
Hah. Or maybe find someone idk
thanks, i agree, I will keep enjoying myself, or find someone i hope.