this post was submitted on 19 Dec 2024
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Slop.

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Dear Chapo,

A close friend of mine has begun Mexicanizing his home cooking. I'm very concerned. Should I stage an intervention?

P.S. Tag yourself.

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[–] Parzivus@hexbear.net 2 points 1 hour ago

This kind of ideology worked in the 1800's because people who ate really boring food tended to be healthier and live longer than people who drank and smoke. When modern medicine literally doesn't exist, shit like Christian Science actually kinda works.

The industrial revolution from a health perspective is interesting to read about, almost nothing works but there's more ability than ever to throw shit at the wall and see what sticks

[–] Hexamerous@hexbear.net 2 points 2 hours ago

She sounds fun.

[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 6 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

Mom! I have a cold. Can I have some cough syrup?

No! Before we know it you'll be eating pickles, drinking tea and rolling down the stairs blackout drunk!

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 7 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

The cough syrup was literally just grain alcohol and cocaine lmao

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 1 points 1 hour ago

Some actually contained chloroform and stuff like licorice extract

[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 1 points 3 hours ago

Many such cases!

[–] barf@vegantheoryclub.org 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Ah fuck I knew that ginger ale was a bad idea

[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 2 points 3 hours ago

I'm 12 months dry of Canada Dry.

[–] Tomboys_are_Cute@hexbear.net 8 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 3 points 3 hours ago

lmao that one got me too

[–] synae@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I think I missed a couple steps. Should I go back for them? Ehhh... Too lazy. I'll just stay here at "strong drink" until I sober up

[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 3 points 3 hours ago

It's called a twelve step program because you have to hit all twelve steps on your way down.

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 16 points 6 hours ago

"Mexicanized" is a great word

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 17 points 6 hours ago

Whoever was drawing this must have been real annoyed when they realized they forgot the 't' in pastries

[–] NotLuigi@hexbear.net 42 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

This epitomizes the ethos of white American child rearing. Don’t be nice to your son or he might become an addict and also your food can’t have peppers in it.

[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 25 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

They were really obsessed with punishing masturbation around this time too.

[–] TheDrink@hexbear.net 29 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

White boys in America are still getting circumcised to this day because of it.

[–] qaopjlll@hexbear.net 5 points 4 hours ago

Ironically, rather than making us crank it less the decrease in pleasure just turned us all into chronic gooners

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 46 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I like how hot sauce is spookier than crank medicine

[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 28 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

Hot sauce has no accepted medical application and a high potential for abuse. the-pigs

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 5 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (2 children)

I am currently abusing hot sauce as we speak.

Well that and alcohol. Love my spicy chelada.

[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Does it taste like those Mexican candies with chili powder?

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 2 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

Yeah kinda. It's my own home recipe. One tall can of Modelo especial, ~6oz spicy V8 juice, a few dabs of tapatio for extra kick, a splash of pineapple juice, a slice of lime, and a little salt around the rim.

Highly recommend. It's kinda like bloody mary lite. It'll get you full before it gets you too drunk, but it's a great after work special.

[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 13 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

He got into smoking before drinking? Is that ever how it works?

[–] ComradeMonotreme@hexbear.net 9 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

Smoking was healthy for you.

[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 4 points 3 hours ago

Back before LIBERALS RUINED IT! frothingfash

[–] LodeMike 6 points 6 hours ago

Considered* healthy

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 25 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

people ask me how I got like this. just gotta follow the steps.

step 1: snacking between meals
step 2: off my face, Robotrippin' on the porch in a 3 piece suit

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[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 23 points 8 hours ago

When you get to Cards, Dice and Pool, you're too late because Jr is a freeze-gamer

[–] plinky@hexbear.net 28 points 8 hours ago (3 children)

starting on cough syrups (i assume heroin) will lead you to sodas

Laudanum leads to pickles D:

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[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 10 points 7 hours ago

I'm candies and rich (vegan) pastries

[–] crime@hexbear.net 16 points 8 hours ago

I'm Tea, Coffee, and Coca

also what kind of John Harvey Kellogg bullshit is this? same energy as "cornflakes will make you too bored to masturbate"

[–] PointAndClique@hexbear.net 23 points 8 hours ago

Plenty of Pickles pickle-liz

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 25 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

I'm the mexican food since I'm making soft tacos tomorrow.

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 2 points 3 hours ago

soft tacos and hard drugs

[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 21 points 8 hours ago

BE CAREFUL!

[–] buh@hexbear.net 21 points 8 hours ago (1 children)
[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 20 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

It's simply too spicy for white people. cracker Don't take chances. the-more-you-know

[–] BigLenin@hexbear.net 19 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

Wtf is "piecing between the meals"?

[–] mechwarrior2@hexbear.net 21 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

they hadn't invented snacking yet

[–] GrosMichel@hexbear.net 18 points 7 hours ago

Pre-treat era.

[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 20 points 8 hours ago

Merriam-Webster Unabridged says the verb “piece” is “chiefly dialectal” and means “to eat between meals” or “nibble at snacks.” [1]

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 16 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I’m more worried about the steep grade and lack of handrails on those steps

[–] crime@hexbear.net 18 points 8 hours ago

and that open grave at the bottom definitely isn't to code

[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 11 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Real "Bart for Anarchy" moment.

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