Do you have somewhere else to go if your relationship with your cousin is not salvageable? Have there been previous incidents? I feel like there might be some missing context here, but this behavior is not acceptable just based on the information you're providing.
this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2024
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I’ve calmed down now, yes this has happened before where she would lose her shit and then calm down and tolerate me again. I’m far from an expect, but I suspect she might have some issues mentally and in hindsight, when she told me “I’m not your mother” I should have said something as saying nothing would make her upset even more. Even then, I still believe it’s salvageable, and I have my grandparents I can stay with if shit heats up again or unsalvageable
Regardless of whether you should forgive her or not, what you're describing is not a stable person who is safe for you to stay with, emotionally speaking (and possibly physically as well given what she did with your phone).
Then she calls me up and tells me to go to the shop to buy some stuff. She says I’m not your mother.
Are these events linked? Strikes me as ironic given demanding someone go to the shop to buy stuff is like... Something children do to their mothers.
I don't think you have to forgive her, but you could move past it, which is sorta different and is an option that preserves your relationship.
Like, acknowledging that she is this way and it's unlikely to change, taking steps to protect yourself from that kind of behaviour, but deciding to love her anyway.
Are these events linked?
yes, like it happened right after she called me a bitch
sorry I’m shit at conveying what happened or how I write it
No worries, you're fine at describing what happened, there's just missing context. Like, she was demanding you to go to the shop to buy things for yourself, or for her, or for you both? Was there some standing obligation for you to do that outside what's in your post?
it was for us both, and I mentioned that as it lead up to the melting point