Pro Tip: For an even quicker result, drink a cup of tequila right before bed. The agave's thermogenic properties will ensure that you puke those 3 eggs and half a stake right out.
this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
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Diuretic diet. It works, but your piss will be brown at the end. Removing all the glycogen and water from your system can lose you over 5 pounds in a few days, but it won't change your shape.
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Another of the 3-day diets on this list (and to be fair, they said don't do any of them for more than 3 days!) was:
Ice cream. As much as you want. But only vanilla, and no extras like fudge sauce or sprinkles.
I remember, because I'm old.
I read one in a magazine that was for more than 3 days, and it suggested only drinking milk instead of water.
The reasoning was:
- fat cells are mostly water
- so not drinking water will "dry out" the fat cells
- drinking milk is fine because your stomach acid turns it into a solid, so it isn't liquid anymore
Nutritional advice used to be wild.
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There was another one, don't know if it was from the same list or not, but it was the all beet diet. Just beets. Season and cook them however you want, but that is all you are allowed to have. Period. My stepdad did the diet and nearly lost his goddamned mind.
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Eggs for breakfast, eggs for dinner...
When you finally shit it will be like 2 Coke cans stuck together.
That's what all the coffee and wine is for!
Lemon juice at dinner guarantees that you reach max level of heartburn, if not yet.
The first time I ever experienced heartburn, it was so bad that I felt like a chestburster alien was trying to come out. I was absolutely desperate and immediately started trying the home remedies, none of which did shit.
I went to the doctor later and I was like, "This cannot be heartburn. I've seen the heartburn commercials and this is so much worse. And the commercials all have old men with heartburn."
Surprise! Chronic heartburn started as a 22-year-old woman.
One of many reasons that medications should not be allowed to be advertised on TV.
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I know someone who gets the shits from egg yokes and also coffee on occasion. This diet would work well for them because they'd shit themselves inside out after 3 days of this.
I would sub out a decent bottled in bond bourbon for the wine. But overall I approve of the diet.
It's a distant ancestor to the hunter s Thompson diet. It just needs more drugs.
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