this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2023
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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[–] JPSound@lemmy.world 178 points 2 years ago (4 children)

I found a kickass stick 4 years ago in the Smokies the weekend my wife and I got married. It's literally the perfect stick. Straight, smooth, nice thickness, durable as hell. Must be of a rare hardwood variety, I would imagine. I still have that stick in the corner and I see it everyday when I'm sitting at my PC. Have I ever used it for anything? I wouldn't dare. It's too nice of a stick to just use on a whim. Why do I keep it around? Well, if I ever had a problem that required a really nice fuckin stick, I'm covered. Every year or so, my wife says to me, "JPSound, you still have that stick?! Why do you keep that thing around?" I look that woman dead in the eyes and say, "there will come a day, my bride, when the creator of all shall lay before us an obstacle, nay, a challenge that only a mighty stick of such grandeur may aid us in such a lofty trial. And this stick, my dearest, this stick awaits our call to guide us into the sunkissed valley of victory so sweet. Only then shall you see what I see. Know what I know now, that this mear stick, is far more than it seems. Then you will know, I am the mighty protector of this home and family. You will see, my love. You will see." Then she usually just rolls her eyes and says, "whatever... I gotta run to the grocery store. Do you need anything special?" And I respond with a mighty boom, "yeah, that fancy chocolate milk I like, please."

[–] JPSound@lemmy.world 189 points 2 years ago (30 children)

I may never get another chance to share this with the world, so may I present to you...

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 45 points 2 years ago

Dude that may be the most perfect stick I've ever seen.

[–] Terevos@lemm.ee 29 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

That's a pretty fantastic stick.

I read your whole comment and I was skeptical. But you're totally right about everything.

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[–] pyromaster55@lemmy.world 26 points 2 years ago

That is a quality fuckin stick my man.

[–] DaFuqs@feddit.de 26 points 2 years ago

That stick did not dissapoint

You undersold it!

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 2 years ago

Nice stick bro

[–] el_bhm@lemm.ee 16 points 2 years ago

This is a one bitching stick.

[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 15 points 2 years ago

That's a nice fuckin stick

[–] ProperlyProperTea@lemmy.ml 15 points 2 years ago

Nice stick bro. Excellent length, nice girth.

[–] big_slap@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago

wow this really is the perfect stick

[–] NewAgeOldPerson@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago

That's a really nice stick!

[–] alehc@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago

Holy hell what a nice stick!

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[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website 31 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Memories of the wedding that weekend? Spotty at best.

Memories of finding that stick? Near photographic.

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[–] pelotron@midwest.social 92 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I found a good stick once. Damn, that was a nice stick.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.ml 70 points 2 years ago (4 children)

I used a perfect stick once. I was backpacking in the high Sierra's and found the perfect walking stick. I carried it the entire trip, used it to poke at fires, kept my balance with it over difficult terrain, and imagined it would be a formidable weapon should we encounter a bear. When we finished the trip I decided to bestow my perfect stick upon the next fortuitous hiker to pass the trailhead. I carved my name and the date into the middle of the stick and left it leaning against the trailhead. I have thought about that stick many times since that trip. I was a fool to leave it there. Never again have I found such a perfect stick. After many disappointing treks into the wilderness I finally gave up seeking that stick's equal and instead purchased trekking poles. Wherever you are stick, I miss you.

[–] Spaghetti_Hitchens@kbin.social 32 points 2 years ago

You bestowing it in the next lucky hiker was an act of love...

[–] TvanBuuren@feddit.nl 23 points 2 years ago

Shut up, I'm not crying, you are ...

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[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 58 points 2 years ago (6 children)

Woman here, this is my prized stick. I found it maybe 15 years ago I think? I was camping on the Oregon coast, the absolute straightness of it stood out from a mile away. Brought it home, cut the ends off to be flat, and hand-smoothed the handle. For a long time I used it for killing spiders (it was perfect for that they never got away) but it has since retired now that I'm less scared of being poisoned and just catch/release them. One day when I'm decomposing I hope for this to be doing the same by my side.

Hot damn, that's a fine stick

[–] Drewelite@lemmynsfw.com 19 points 2 years ago

Ho shit, no lies that stick is dope.

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[–] Laticauda@lemmy.ca 57 points 2 years ago (5 children)

No, lots of girls and women like sticks too. This lady is just a weirdo for not liking them.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website 32 points 2 years ago (1 children)
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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 54 points 2 years ago

"Who would win in a fight? An army guy or a stick?"

"That's stupid. The army guy would just break the stick in half."

"Ah, but now there are two sticks. Stick win every time."

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.world 45 points 2 years ago

It's a free and useful material to go along with a child's imagination (it can be a gun, it can be a sword, it can be a teacher's pointer, it can be a flagpole, it can be used as basis for all manner of constructions, you can use it to poke a things or make small holes, it lets you reach things which would otherwise be beyond your reach and so on...) plus its a complex enough object to be interesting in itself not just in shape but in texture, plus sticks come in lots of variations in shape and size.

Even the process of selecting the right stick for something you have in mind can be intellectually stimulating.

Or to put it in another way, sticks are a great basic elements for kids to invent and play their own games, they're usefull for a lot of things and you can find them for free on the ground.

[–] PeleSpirit@lemmy.world 45 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Depends on the stick really.

[–] Monkstrosity@lemm.ee 17 points 2 years ago

If it was worth bringing home clearly it was a good stick

[–] kersploosh@sh.itjust.works 43 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Love for sticks is hardwired deep in our brain. What's the first thing a toddler does outside? Find a stick and swing it around. Dig with it. Hit stuff with it. Invent games with it. Build with it. Sticks are fundamental to human behavior and civilization.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 30 points 2 years ago

Not just humans too. Most primates love playing with/using sticks.

[–] Hellstormy@lemmy.world 40 points 2 years ago (5 children)

Time for my collection to shine! I'm a woman though.

[–] tpihkal@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago

Nice sticks!

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[–] zaphod@feddit.de 39 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Imagine what you could do with that stick, so many options...

[–] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 26 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's the fundamental tool that Nature provides man

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[–] essteeyou@lemmy.world 33 points 2 years ago (6 children)

It's not just sticks though. Sometimes you find a perfect stone. Flat and round, triangular, square... Good stones.

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[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 31 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Complaining about free toys provided by nature…

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[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 30 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

It’s a shovel. A hole-maker. An imaginary sword. A club. A whacky-thing with which to hit things. A thing to drag along the ground and leave marks. Drag across fences or walls to feel and hear the sound. A spear, after you’ve sharpened it in the campfire. A pointer. A poker at strange and unknown critters you find under rocks. A tool to remove spiderwebs from your path. A pry bar. So, so many things.

Truly, she has no clue what “just a stick” is.

Sticks are incredible.

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[–] Harpsist@lemmy.world 29 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My kid once had me drive 9km so she could get a stick (tree branches twice as big as her) she found at school.

That was in June. It's October now. We still have the stick.

No one breaks or burns it. It's the stick after all.

Not just a boy thing :)

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[–] Case@lemmynsfw.com 27 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Its a primitive thing, maybe... Like a genetic memory.

A good stick is a bad ass tool when you only have your hands, its free and plentiful, and its no big loss to start over.

You can use a stick to kill or stun animals, dig a trench for waste, with more sticks and some sort of cover you make a shelter, sticks are also fuel for fire, a stick can get you into a sheltered situation, possibly with a warm meal, and its just a bunch of sticks.

Add a pointed rock to the mix? Fuck, now you have one of the most effective weapons in the history of humanity.

A good stick and a good rock is the most primitive tool set we had, and it was available to everyone.

I really need to get back into field craft.

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[–] Kjatten@lemmy.world 26 points 2 years ago
[–] spudwart@spudwart.com 24 points 2 years ago
[–] formergijoe@lemmy.world 24 points 2 years ago

My daughter loves collecting sticks. Not just a guy thing

[–] LazaroFilm@lemmy.world 23 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Primal instincts taking over. Sticks are good for a lot of things. Fire, spear, walking, poking things out of trees, throwing at the dog… sticks are good.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 21 points 2 years ago (9 children)
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[–] veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world 20 points 2 years ago

Awww, I find it so wholesome when son and father conspire against mother

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

It's our ancestral birthright. The instinctive allure of a quality tool. The mightu stick. Simple yet sublime. One of the original old reliables.

[–] GreenMario@lemm.ee 18 points 2 years ago

Sticks are awesome.

So are stones and any pinecone shaped like a grenade.

[–] ladicius@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago

Now I want a stick, too.

[–] tslnox@reddthat.com 17 points 2 years ago
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