It's horrible being an American watching what's happening and not being able to do much about it. I grew up during the height of the Cold War, seeing Trump kissing Putin's ass is enough to make me puke. Then there's the erosion of civil rights, which was something that people died to attain, the erasure of the accomplishments of women, African Americans, Native Americans, and many others, the daily trampling of the Constitution, the disappearing of "undesirables", etc. It's like living in a completely different country than I lived in just a few short months ago.
The US has never been perfect, obviously, but it's been better than it is now. You have every right to feel the way you do.