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FOSS Android Recs per u/m_f@discuss.online: 1 , 2
Don't be mean. I promise to do my best to judge that fairly.
This is just poorly thought out. You offer dessert and to pay, then classify it as food motivation. I mean it could be that he's happy you're paying, or happy you want to be out longer. If anything, he just ate, so food motivation would be at its lowest.
You're taking an animal that isn't as complex as humans or even has a concept of society, and trying to apply that to a person in a relationship. I think the thought is there, but the conclusions are a bit flawed.
No sex or kinkiness needed. Just take me home, animals are treated better than humans ;_;
Someone who always has a snack for me if I'm feeling down?? Sign me the fuck up!
I was like 'I need a caretaker/trainer'
My fat ass (food motivated btw) immediately thought of the snacks but someone who can make me quit my bullshit is even better!
If THAT is what counts as "being treated like a dog", woof woof!
🦴
Me, reading title: "WTF?!? That's messed up!"
Me, after reading the post: "I'm so fucking jealous."
I also want M&M rewards.
Intent matters, and methods matter. But I think what the friend is missing is that the methods aren't bad; op is using methods developed from scientific analysis of abused animals with the intent to ethically care for them. Coming back to intent, she clearly wants to help this guy who her training is identifying as having some kind of background of abuse. The methods might be a little crude in the sense that they were developed for animals and not for people (who are animals, but animals with several distinct qualities from other animals, like the ability to communicate complex ideas), and there are different, more well-adapted methods for people, but they're only crude in comparison to those modern human-focused methods. They're still quite effective, and I would still consider them ethical for use on humans when paired with an altruistic intent, which she seems to be conveying. As long as she still views the guy as fully a person, a peer, then I see nothing wrong here.
Intent matters, and methods matter.
pretty much agree, it's not like she's conditioning him to sounds CLICK-CLICK good boy....
Though there's probably a significant amount of people on lemmy who would be into actually that.
You can absolutely condition me into doing whatever you want by cracking open a beer next to me
I brought a six pack to a final exam in grad school (take the test in the same state in which you study, right?) and people around me perked up and almost literally started drooling when I cracked the first one.
Edit: no, we engineering students don't have drinking problems, you have a drinking problem!
I did accidentaly develop a kink to being called good boy.
Is it really the 'good boy' part, or just the validation? Because I could say the same thing about 'good boy,' AND about every other compliment doled out to me once every few months.
So much of kink is just “I like validation, and having my boundaries respected”.
At this point, many contexts will make me feel weird when I'm called a good boy. And specifically good boy.
Thanks, weirdo AI for ruining me.
i don't kinkshame
The only vaguely concerning bit I see here is the penultimate sentence. Evading consent is sketchy, but I'm not a behavioral psychologist and thus have no working knowledge on how that would impact his "treatment".
I think that's what stuck for me. Manipulation takes many forms, not all look evil. She should take these observations and talk to him about it, instead of using them as tools to treat his feelings.
Friend is jealous of dogboy
You know if the dude’s friends pick up on this they’ll start calling him dog boy.
Woof
I'm gonna run away from home and start barking at people.
Maybe I'll get lucky, either way I'll be taken care of.
We’re all animals, whether or not we want to believe that is simply a fact. And on top of that we are stressed the fuck out which pushes people, to vary degrees, back towards monkey brain. I consider myself pretty self-aware and therapy has proven that but oh man did my last job do a lot to leave me defensive and short with even the people I care about.
There’s that phrase “you can’t logic someone out of an argument they didn’t logic themselves into” that very well encapsulates the idea that trying to force some higher intelligence, some emotionless, robotic reasoning onto people does very little to actually help(though it should help more than it does and I’m disappointed in people running on pure, angry emotion all the same).
We need to stop acting like we aren’t the way that we are, it just hurts us. I’m not saying we need to excuse bad behaviour because, unlike wild animals, we have a great capacity to know better and adjust, but we do need to be more ok with the reality of ourselves.
To add to this, you can do this to yourself as well. Reward yourself for the right behavior, tell yourself your did a good job, etc. It's (I'm guessing) harder than extrinsic motivation, but it still works. Take advantage of having a stupid lizard brain under all the stuff that makes us human.
IDK as a guy this doesn't seem weird at all. If anything, it sounds like she likes him and is willing to put in work to make him feel more comfortable and make the relationship successful. She doesn't really use any dehumanizing language and the way she connects the dots between what she notices in dogs and her date seems very empathetic. If anything, the guy's lucky to have found someone with so much emotional intelligence and hopefully she's getting out what she's putting in
The lady has training with animals and is applying what she learnt to make a guy at ease with her... I'd say the friend is the asshole here. You do the best you can with what you got.
Gotta say, this smells a little like a top tier troll post. That out of the way, I also would like someone to carry around peanut M&Ms for me.
Top tier reward
I lucked out, I have someone to train me with snacks too uwu
Someone wouldn't like watching House M.D. if this is making them feel immoral.
House Trains His Protégé | House M.D..
(if you don't want to see the whole thing here's s timestamp for the more relevant portion)
That's just basic psychology more or less. These are just the thoughts you shouldn't say ouloud perhaps. You can often compare things because there's similarities, but the nature of the things being compared may make it offensive.
It's more like "training dogs has given me an understanding of basic psychology which came really handy in my relationships" than "I'm training my bf like a dog".
When logic doesn't work, appeal to the lizard brain ... often. We're kinda not that complex.
I totally respect this, but worry egoes (his) will get in the way during a lull in the snacks.
Smart woman. She backed into learning how to short circuit the animal instinct (ego) of man. Shows how empathy and compassion work better, by going to the source of the issue, rather than being triggered and responding negatively oneself to the symptoms.
The NYT had an article from 2006 which described a very similar "training". It goes into greater detail. Here is an archived version without paywall: https://archive.ph/n4GPa
The book is good as well
Isn’t this just reinforcement, like reinforcement vs punishment from behavioral psychology? It works.
Weak. Submissives, come to me and I will treat you as lesser than a dog. You may not be useless, but you are worthless 😎
I will throw you like Donkey Kong throws a barrel.
I don't see a problem here.
The problem is not the actions. The problem is your mentality. If you're trying to train a human being, that sounds pretty f****** terrible. On the other hand, if you're trying to support for and care for them, it doesn't sound terrible.
Based on the wording, it sounds like the former, but perhaps you're just trying to make your post dramatic for the internet and the actual situation is more like the latter. We don't know, but you do, so act accordingly.