It was in a book of papal facts my very Catholic childhood friend had on the bus one time, so I buy it. One additional aspect I remember is that they call them by their Christian/given name when they hit them.
this post was submitted on 06 May 2025
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Popehammer is my favorite Elder Scrolls artifact.
Jesus allegedly came back, they aren't taking those kinds of risks these days
Do you know how many more murals they'd have to paint?
This is false! Everybody knows that they smother the pope's face with a huge hoe's ass to confirm his death.
+3 to hit vs. Popes, Cardinals, and Bishops. On hit, Popes who are alive but playing dead must save vs. Fortitude or die.
It's a silver hammer, so it could also check if the Pope is a werewolf.
Can't let that happen again.
...again?
The events inspired the band Powerwolf.
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The hammer is actually a 100lb two handed weapon
Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer came down on his head
do do dooo do
Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer made sure that he was dead
whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o
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my favourite fact is that “factoid” doesn’t mean “little fact” but is actually starting to mean that
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Hit him once. If he is silent, hit him again. If he is silent again, hit him again. If he remains silent, he is dead.
Hit him once. If he shouts, you've got two more swings to make him stop.
So it's correctly labeled as a factoid then
The -oid suffix is used to describe something that appears like something else, but is not that thing. An asteroid is something that looks like a star, but isn't. A factoid is something that looks like a fact, but isn't.
I used to introduce my common-law partner as my "wifeoid." She hated that but sometimes it is okay to put your own pleasure first.
it's uncomfortably close to "femoid"
It was a different time.
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D'oh, it should say "another target Cleric" to avoid confusion.
Is it to make sure, or is it to make sure?
They should abstain from the hammer this time round. Zombie pope is the 2025 twist no-one would see coming.
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"One" hit
"Two" hit Pope: "Ouch!"
...
...
"What do we do now?" "Just hit harder, it's a self-solving problem"
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What about the holy hand grenade?
First shalt thou take out the Holy Hammer. Then, shalt thou strike three times, no more, no less.
Three shalt be the number thou shalt strike, and the number of the striking shall be three. Four shalt thou not strike, nor either strike thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.
Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, thy pope shall snuff it.
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I bought one of those at Harbor Freight for like ¼ the price the Vatican probably paid.
Yeah but it breaks after hitting 2 popes
that's still a good 40-50 years of use!
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I have one of these on my coffee table that’s decoration. Found it just laying in some room when I visited the Vatican in the 90s. Weird.
It gives +5 to-hit and damage, +2d6 holy damage, +5 to carpentry skill, and can only be equipped by Catholics. It deals double damage to lycanthropes.
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Well you have to be sure. I wonder where they keep the Pope hammer in between deaths
Maybe the pope gets a bonk every day to ensure that he is, in fact, still alive?
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The ancient custom of throwing the body into the Tiber river is too unrefined for these modern times
"I fear the Pope has died!"
"You can't say things like that! You have to be sure!"
*wham-"Ack!!" wham wham
"OK, I'm sure the pope is dead."
Clearly an anti zombie tool. Can't have the pope rising from the dead, it'd mess up the church's image.
The papal tappy taps
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