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It's something I've seen thrown at women a fair bit. Feminazi, stripping men's rights, feminism has gone too far blah blah. Has anyone ever accused you of it? And any women said this to you?
I got asked if I was a "raging feminist" because I have body hair. I didn't even know how to respond
Is that the criteria? Well judging by my legs this morning, I'm a raging feminist.
I generally respond with "how many generations has your family been inbreeding again?"
I got accused of that once for simply saying I didn't feel welcome on Lemmy as a woman.
Actually, that's putting it lightly. What they said was a multi paragraph tirade attempting to trigger every trauma I had or might have explicitly because they thought "unwelcome" was still too welcome and, again explicitly stated by them, they thought women should suffer.
To be fair, they were downvoted to hell then banned for what they said, but in the same thread somebody accused me of being too extreme because I said I support job fairs for women, and they were very much the opposite of downvoted.
It seems to mostly be isolated to online spaces though. I bring up these "extremist" feminist topics IRL and people act like it was so obvious I didn't even need to say it, even men.
That kind of attitude is so common here, unfortunately. "Nerd" and tech cultures are rampantly misogynistic, but they all seem in denial about it, including on lemmy
Oh they're definitely not in denial if you're talking to someone who actually works in them professionally...as usual it's the snotty cohort of the fans
"but where are the men's job fairs, huh? Typical woman, wanting more rights than men and getting more support."
It's so draining to reclaim my own space in a man's world some days.
Yep the manosphere really doesn't want us to have any help or support, or even verbalise that we'd like that
Are we prepared to talk about the subtle (or sometimes unsubtle) misogynist (plus intersections of transphobia, homophobia, and racism) streak on the Fediverse? I've gotten the weirdest pushback for relatively mild takes with such frequency I've come to expect it. I am not afraid to block anyone who is being a prick, but if anything I post gets a modicum of attention I have to avoid my inbox like the plague or be sealioned to death. I don't remember it being this bad on reddit (but I think communities self-sorted better with a larger userbase).
Yep we face it all the time in our group, we get the manosphere making nasty and/or anti trans remarks or passive aggressive trolling. That's why posts like this have to be flagged as women only so they've got no excuse. We're ruthless with the ban button though so its manageable.
It's really sad cos we've had so many incredibly supportive men cheering for or quietly upvoting us. I don't remember reddit being this bad but I think you're right, they stuck to their own areas.
I think one reason it's worse than on reddit is because posts are more often visible on "all". On reddit posts on small subreddits mostly got read by the people who looked for them. Here with much fewer posts and communities posts often reach "everyone".
Ayup. The only reason they didn't come for us on reddit was because they didn't see us.
This is not a fediverse problem, it's an arsehole problem
You might try checking if those guys are based on thecsame (cluster of) server(s).
Also the downvotes. I haven't yet seen any other topic that so consistently gets a few downvotes across every community. And by topic, I don't necessarily mean "feminism" or something controversial, it's more like explicitly mentioning women is enough. See also this community.
It's only ever a handful and it's less subtle than comments or messages, but it doesn't really create a welcoming atmosphere. Especially since downvotes are otherwise used quite sparingly in Lemmy on the whole (with some exceptions of course).
I've been accused of this a fair bit. I couldn't tell you how often I've talked about women's issues to be told "but what about men... you're being reverse exist etc". I've lost count of how many men have said about "men's rights" when it's not a pie, more for us don't mean less for them. It's particularly nasty online, breathe a word about feminism and you can be attacked HARD.
I've had comments from women but far less so. I've been accused of thinking all men are bad when ones behaviour was creeping me out (turned out I was right). Sadly I've worked with a woman in the domestic abuse field who put the perpetrator first. She'd excuse and defend him, and was always talking about how hard life was for men and what "man hating feminists" had done to them. Unsurprisingly she was in an abusive relationship.
It seems feminism is a dirty word to a lot of people which is sad
So as someone who thinks they're real funny, that's a tad bid misandrist innit? /s
Not sure if I do actually belong here or not but I hate how misogynistic some people are when they don't think about it. It makes me a bit uncomfortable to be around them.
I have however heard some things that I would consider a bit extreme like making femicide recieve worse punishments than regular homicide.
Plus claiming women pose as much of a murder risk to men. When a quick search online shows few adult women murder adult men compared to vice versa
I would hope they are thinking more about how more men than women are murdered, if they are thinking at all about the subject. There are of course differences between VaW and VaM on a societal scale.
That used to be me. I very nearly fell down the blackpill incel hole, long before those were terms, back when friendzone memes were all the rage. Two things really stopped that--one was that I was self aware and recognized it was a me problem, not a world problem, and the second was more or less a friend turning me into a brony (it was new at the time and was positivity that I really needed). In the end, learning to think critically and not feast on a diet of easy hate is the reason I'm not a complete dumpster fire excuse for a human being. Hate and anger are junk food for the mind, and while there's nothing wrong with hating something or being angry, it's easy to let them rule you and turn you into an angry, hateful person.
Don't know a lot of woman incels these days (though I'm aware the community was founded by a woman). Curious about what lead you to inceldom.
Was male at the time, I'm still transitioning. I was almost a complete social outcast, spending all my time reading and on the internet. It's easy to hate, when you feel so hated. So isolated. It seemed like everyone was dating someone, like you were worth less than others if you weren't. Friend zone memes were trendy at the time, they made it out like it was women's fault you were alone. Luckily, I had the self awareness to keep in mind it's not like I ever tried. How could I blame someone for a nonexistent rejection? Still horribly fucked up socially resenting and hating people but I never developed the entitlement and hatred of women for (the delusion) of it being their fault I was aingle and isolated that really makes an incel an incel. I got more socially well adjusted and college was so much better but middle school and high school were hell. I still... have issues when it comes to dating and intimacy, truthfully I don't think it's ever something I'm going to be ok with. But, it's something I'm not ok with, not something that I'm incapable of, which might seem like a pointless distinction but makes a world of difference.
This doesn't happen to me much, but it happens to other women I know. I have a lot of male friends and I've talked to them over the years about their perspective on feminism, and what makes them say things critical of feminism. A lot of it comes down to a misunderstandings -- take for instance the conflation between patriarchy (of a system) and sexism (of an individual). Or "#notallmen" -- as women we don't really care that it's #notallmen, the fact of the matter is that because it's enough men, it's #yesallwomen; whereas to men this sounds like an accusation.
Of course, there's some things that aren't about miscommunications and are just philosophical differences. Expressing support for affirmative action, for instance, is likely to get one in hot water, no matter how politely you phrase it.
Back before my egg cracked, or my brain formed, the early teenage "lad" that was me may or may not have been part of the issue.
Sorry sisters, least I got better :/
I’ve not had that sort of garbage hurled at me, but have often experienced men irl lamenting about how women want special treatment, at the expense of men. Their logic is so tired, and exhausting. It’s this zero sum game, and they are somehow always receiving the short end of the stick, even though they enjoy all of the privilege and benefit of the patriarchy. They equivocate the fight for women to have the same treatment and rights as them to them being villainized or otherwise put down. These types of men, especially the cishet white guys, cannot look at themselves and recognize that the world as we know it is designed for them to have every opportunity, at the expense of everyone else. Me getting a promotion, or other women being given the chance to show that they are just as capable as men is somehow misandry. Remember, DEI bad; misogyny acceptable. It gets so old, so fast. And when I point out to them that their logic is problematic, they roll their eyes and talk about how unfairly men are treated.
It’s almost as if these toddlers masquerading as grown adult men, expect to be given things by default due to who they are. 🙄
You're bang on the money, they think losing their privilege is the same as losing their rights. And toddlers masquerading as men is right!
honestly sounds similar to the way the Christian right responds to something like the gay rights movement - every advancement of gay rights is perceived as an infringement on their religious freedom somehow.
Oh yeah, on Reddit I got called a feminazi or similar on the regular. Ironically it was usually in response to the most tepid of takes, while the actual radical stuff didn't get anything ... I guess they didn't like the idea that someone might put up a fight?
Meanwhile, my sister in law said to my wife recently that DEI has gone too far ... she's a well paid executive, who if it weren't for DEI would never have got her job. My other half has been trying to gently steer her back to sanity.
No, actually, now that I think about it.... I'm taking this as a sign that I need to get more extreme with my feminism