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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/undercover_union145 on 2025-07-05 20:03:29+00:00.
I just got home and I genuinely don’t know how to process what just happened. Currently debating if I should move to the mountain by myself.
So here’s what just happened:
My wife’s out of town for the week and since I’ve been working crazy hours (an overnight shift straight into a morning one). I asked my mom to stop by the house, let the dog out, feed him, and keep him company until I could get myself home.
Now here’s where it gets mortifying.
When my wife is away for extended periods, I have a personal “toy” it’s blue, hourglass shaped and let’s say ergonomically designed. My wife is fully aware and even jokingly nicknamed it my Kong.
Anyway, before I went to bed after my last shift, I washed it and left it on the dish rack in the kitchen. Usually I put it away immediately, but I guess I was overworked and I passed out without thinking twice.
So fast forward to today. I come home after 16 hours of nonstop work. I’m exhausted, dead on my feet, and just ready to fall into bed. I walk in and there’s my mom on the couch, happily playing with the dog.
And in his mouth?
The KONG
Covered.
In peanut butter.
I freeze. Just completely short circuit. She gets up to greet me and goes, “He just LOVES his Kong!” Immediately she can tell something up and asked “Is everything ok sweetie?” I mumbled something like, “Yeah just along day,” and stumbled off before I could burst into flames on the spot.
She didn’t stay long, thank God just left me a plate of food and went home. As soon as the door closed, I sprinted around the house trying to catch my dog, finally wrestled the “Kong” from him and chucked it in the trash like it was radioactive.
Now I’m lying in bed, sleep-deprived and emotionally destroyed, trying to decide if I’ll ever be able to look my mother in the eye again. Or if I should tell my wife. Or if I should just disappear.
TL;DR: Left my sex toy on the drying rack. Mom mistook it for a dog toy, filled it with peanut butter, and gave it to my dog.