I'm shy, my brother who is many years older than me would tell his friends how I'd yap his head off. They couldn't believe it cause I'd say almost nothing around them.
this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2025
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Yep "ADHD inattentive type" here. Chuck in Autism and dysgraphia and I was a quiet kid.
How does the dysgraphia affect you?
Makes writing annoying and much slower than my brain wants to go. Writing takes all my attention to get right. ADHD makes it hard to keep what I want to say in my head, while I wait for my hands to catch up.
I have at least two concurrent trains of thought running simultaneously at all times; I don't have the energy to be outwardly expressive.
/raises hand
I have a psychiatrist appointment coming up, and I am saving this to show him.
Literally me
What's probably even more confusing is when the quiet turns loud suddenly because the topic has shifted to something interesting.
Women tend to exhibit inattentive ADHD more frequently than men. This is part of why boys are 16x more likely than girls to be diagnosed with ADHD. It's because women and girls don't fit the traditional media representation of what ADHD looks like, and more parents become oblivious to the fact that their child needs help.
yes that sounds like inattentive type adhd, its the spacey daydreamy type, and fun fact, as its less disruptive its less likely to be diagnosed and funner fact its much more common in girls which contributes to the
Gotta say I really appreciate you getting distracted by something more interesting halfway through
yeah I couldn't figure out how to name the thing at the end of the sentence so i just gave up and trusted yall would get it
has "in this essay I will" energy, 11/10
This was me during my youth - quiet, polite and serene on the outside, white noise on the inside. Teachers couldn't work out why I excelled at some things and failed totally at others, they thought I was smart but not applying myself to my work. It took me til my 30s to get a diagnosis.
"a pleasure to have in class, but needs to apply herself"
"Has a lot of potential" got used a lot
I got that a lot, along with "has poor impulse control"... Bitches, if you only knew what impulses I was controlling...
"He easily deserves a B but he could get an A if he applied himself. I'll just give him a C so he tries harder"
- gets a D *
"It's no use, I push him as far as I could"
My parents were told I had it but they chose to ignore it fearing what others would think of them. May they rot.
My senior year I had 104 in computer science, a 99 in physics and a 100 in typing. In algebra I had a 75 and 72 in English. Somehow my parents blamed the teachers. It never occurred to them that the math for algebra and physics overlaps a lot. It didn't occur to my algebra teacher either.
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When I was a kid, it was just called ADD, attention deficit disorder. Then at some point they slipped the hyperactive in there, and it made everyone think that it's just energetic kids. Then you got pushback in the media saying it's just excusing people not wanting to discipline their kids. And that's why I never even considered that I might have it until after I flunked out of college.
I'm still in awe of the sheer naivety of the profession deciding that including hyperactive in the title would lead to increased understanding and inclusion.
Same, 31 now and I think I have a mild version of the inattentive type. My wife opened my mind to it, I won't go for a diagnosis but having resources to help me improve and deal better with it are great.
Why not go in for diagnosis/screening?
Not judging, just curious.
I'm not sure it would change my life. It's a mild version so I don't need meds, just some tools to manage it. It would cost time and money, with very little payoff.
same except i was diagnosed with ADHD (which was recognized as a separate disorder from ADD at the time) around age 6 and my parents decided to pretend it wasn't real for... 30 years and counting.
How often do you have a feeling that there's too much information to convey right now, and speech/mouth feels like a bottleneck not capable of delivering all that needs to be said in their really specific details?
All the time. My thoughts also run way faster than I can speak, so I very often speak too fast and mumble, which makes it hard for people to understand me.
I usually shake head and make the best impression of Duffy Duck fucking a deflating balloon in order to restart speech function.
Now combine that with impatient people who don't give other people enough time to process information or enough time to properly explain something.
That's my whole family dynamic right there. Pure anxiety fuel :D
ADHD Cross Type Communication
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This is why my parents dismissed my childhood diagnosis of ADHD. My older brother has the hyperactive type, but I am more of the inattentive type.
The outside is calm, but the inside is a tornado of thoughts that doesn't cease.
That definition always bothered me a lot... The hyperactivity is always there, but it's either internalised, externalised and sometimes it's both. It's the intensity of it that can vary a lot from person to person.
That’s why they don’t use “types” anymore, they call them presentations. Any person with ADHD may present as more inattentive or more hyperactive depending on circumstances, and, like you said, some elements of both are always there.
"I have all this energy inside and I can't use it how I want!!"
"I have all this energy outside and it's using me how it wants!!"
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I'm energetic and extremely talkative when talking about the things I'm currently into. All other times I'm exactly this.
I've heard the inattentive type is more common among women. My wife definitely fits the description. People usually mistake the blank stare for intimidation, but I know better. (っ˘з(•_• )
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Pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD. I tried to get an evaluation on the recommendation of my therapist once and all they did was offer me meds directly.
I can totally relate to the quiet variant, I'm very nonverbal and always lost in thought. But when it comes time to speak I usually only have a couple words to say. I'm only ever talkative through text when I have time to organize thoughts.
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I have 2 settings. Highly engaging radio talk show host who ~~won't~~ can't shut up, or "wallflower mode, pls don't notice me or I may burst into tears /flames."
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The neat part of the Internet is having communities like this explain things I've been feeling my whole life, but couldn't quite find the words to describe it.
Figuring out that I have ADHD (4 years ago at age 33) made a lot of things make sense.
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