This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ursois on 2025-07-12 12:10:29+00:00.
Obligatory happened a few weeks ago.
So my wife likes to keep her car neat and clean. I've never cared that much about vehicular tidiness, but it's her car, so I do my best to keep her happy and not throw trash on the floorboard. Here's where the fuckup happened: we ate lunch at a drive through while we were running around doing errands. I was ~~driving~~ in the driver's seat, and of course she was in the passenger seat. In my car I'd just plop the trash on the floorboard and clean it out later. I opened my straw up, and needed to do something with the wrapper. The bag the food came in wasn't free, and there was no place to put it, so my cave-man thought process went like this:
Problem: Have trash. No put trash on floorboard. Make wife angry.
Solution: find bag to put trash in.
Problem: no bag
Solution: give trash to wife. Wife can find place to put it, so she won't be mad. Hold out trash for wife to take.
Problem: holding trash, but wife is busy with food bag and can't take trash. Hand getting bored from holding trash.
Solution: put trash in wife's lap, so she can put it where she wants when she is free. Wife be happy with clean car.
If you have the brain of a slightly dull Labrador retriever, it makes perfect sense.
My wife, on the other hand, just sees me take my straw wrapper, wad it up tighter and tighter, and then put it on her leg like she's a trash can. Her response was... not great. I'm lucky she loves me a lot or I'd have probably had to take an Uber home. A week later and I was still hearing about it.
And I learned from this that I need to up my level of thinking to at least that of a clever border collie.
Edit: I was in the driver's seat, but we were parked at the time, so I can't even use "I was driving" as an excuse.
TL,DR: I couldn't find a place to put my trash in the car, so I put it in my wife's lap. She was not amused.