Programmer Humor

I don't care what M$ says, Azure DevOps is being left for dead. As someone who worked on the System Center space for years, I know the signs of a product they want to kill but can't. I'm convinced the only reason it is still around is because some internal teams haven't moved to GitHub yet.

I would take literally anything above Service Now.

Ah man, my boss wants to get our department Meta glasses for taking pictures of parts we make, we literally get a bonus on our pay cheques for us having our phones on us an be reachable.

As a ServiceNow dev/admin, I support this opinion so hard.

I've worked at a company that used both. One for development the other for support tickets.

The idea that people would use ServiceNow for development tasks is scary.

I was a vocal hater of Jira till I switched to a company that rolled their own ticketing system. Now I love Jira.

So basic it should be a human right.

God, confluence is so fukcing dogshit.

I wish it wasn't. Ideally having a central knowledge base for your project with all sorts of features sounds amazing.

Then you get confluence, where loading a si gle page somehow takes 7 seconds, and your documentation is split among dozens of pages each if which take equally as long or longer to load.

Folders take like 3-4 seconds to unfold and reveal what documents are inside.

It's such a piece of shit

Confluence, the place where you do a bunch of documentation and then later forget you wrote it or can't find it anymore and have to rewrite it all in a separate Confluence folder only to repeat it all later?

My team at work has several different team docs folders ranging from severely outdated to new but soon to be outdated

No consultancy can ever make Jira fast. It’s incredible that it takes several seconds just to open a motherfucking goddamn issue.

I swear all their SQL is select * from *;

I told them my os is non standard, Graphene, and if they need anything more than 2fa codes, it'd need to be on one of their devices.

Why are you using your own phone for work?

Literally every week I encounter new bugs, it gets worse and worse. Many very basic features (like inline code with back ticks) just stopped working months ago and don't work anymore. Scrolling in some channels is completely broken, jumping around wildly. Sometimes messages just don't get sent (both on Android & Web). Sometimes calls work perfectly all day, then the next call just randomly changes audio device settings and I have to find what's wrong again. Sometimes the video stream of a shared screen just doesn't work, or stops working when switching to the small pop-up window while looking at chats, so the other person has to re-share. Sometimes the "available" state is just broken and keeps getting set to "away". The search just doesn't find many things, even when searching with fairly exact parameters.

It's a daily source of frustration & literally gets worse by the week. I can't remember a program that's made me angry as much as Teams has.

On a 4k monitor you can still only get about 80 characters of monospaced font per line, because of the "negative space" fetish UX designers have.

Something dead simple like posting a stack trace, and then having someone able to, you know, read it... It's just not something teams really does well.

I can understand how the tooling probably does a ton of stuff that corporate users want (integrating with calendars, tons of access controls for spaces for important people to talk, etc) but for a dev working primarily with a handful of other devs and qas, there is a feature set mismatch. I can't begin to tell you how badly I don't give a shit about 99% of its features.

I prefer the way Slack groups threaded conversations within a channel. Teams channels are clunky enough that we just end up using group chats instead.

Notification syncing between devices is nonexistent in Teams and there are no conversation threads.

In general teams is way more buggy with worse UX. I don't know if it's a thing on Teams that our workplace disabled, but there's no decent notification management. If I take a day off, I can set my notifications in Slack as mute for that day and I can manage notifications for messages vs mentions vs mute per channel.

On Teams I can't permanently set Enter as new line, I have to click that rich text editor icon for every single message.
On mobile Teams started doing this thing in group chats where, if I move the cursor with drag on space gesture and then move it back to the end of the message, Teams interprets this as a desire to "attach a program", like power apps (whatever that is).
Pasting in code block also gets me every time. I'll start a code block in Teams window, go to another window, copy the text and click back on my code block. Teams just drops the cursor to the end of message outside my code block and by the time I notice I already hit ctrl+v.

My last pet peeve is about formatted copy pasting and applies to Slack as well but Teams having more text formatting options shows more of an impact. Never, and I repeat, NEVER have I wanted to paste anything with formatting, especially if I grabbed it form a website, word, excel, pdf or a code editor. Why is it the default and nonnegotiable? I can change the default on Libre Office, why not on Teams? It's a chat app why would I need headings like in a regular doc?
Every time it gets me, ctrl+c, ctrl+v, fuck ctrl+z, ctrl+shift+v…

Teams is trash, I have to use it with certain clients, slack for everything else. Literally everything it does is like a wish.com fail version of slack. Like if you ordered slack on temu.

Just talking about Teams is annoying…

Having them name it after a core business organizational unit was just a bad idea. Then naming something in the app the same thing was even worse.

Please open Teams, then search for our team’s Team, then look for this Channel. Please post your question there.

Let’s not forget the absolute shit show that was the upgrade of Teams. The original Teams was rebranded Classic Teams because they wrote a new app that they called New Teams which is of course today just called Teams again.

Considering it’s still a slow clunky resource monster this shows you how bad Teams was originally.

Microsoft said that new Teams is twice as fast and uses half as much memory as Classic Teams