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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/Spiritual-Region9508 on 2025-07-15 16:34:26+00:00.
As someone with autism and ADHD, I find those two dating advice as disingenuous. I mean sure you have to first make sure that when meeting someone for the first few times you have to observe how that person is and not trust that person too soon. But the whole idea of playing hard to get and be less available just to attract someone is ridiculous and manipulative. The reason why I think those two are horrible dating advice is because I think that if I have to act a certain way in order to attract someone, that person isn’t meant for me. I should be able to be myself when finding someone to date. Dating should be treated as starting friendships to see how things go. For example, when I first met my ex I followed the dating advice such as being less available and playing hard to get, that person started to give me more attention and then once I started to be more available for him and stopped playing hard to get, he started to respect me less. I told my therapist about this and she told me that if I have to act a certain way to attract someone, that person isn’t the right person for me anyway. Later on, I met my husband and before we got married we didn’t even have to play hard to get and we were available to each other as much as we wanted. We didn’t have to play games and we treated each other as if we are making friends when we first met. Once we realized that we can be ourselves with one another and be vulnerable as much as we wanted, that’s how I realized that he is the right guy for me. I wonder what you guys think of those two dating advice.