this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2023
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internet funeral

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[–] sarsaparilyptus@midwest.social 121 points 1 year ago (4 children)

J.H. Kellogg also claimed to be a straight man who wasn't interested in consummating his marriage and felt no need for sex, and that the industrial-strength pressure washer enemas that blasted his prostate with gallons of water every single day were for medicinal purposes.

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 69 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Didn't he also invent corn flakes to somehow stop people from masturbating?

[–] phatskat@sh.itjust.works 36 points 1 year ago

He just didn’t think pleasure was good in any form - sex, sugar, games, etc.

[–] sarsaparilyptus@midwest.social 29 points 1 year ago

His brother was more responsible for the corn flakes, John Harvey thought they were too flavorful.

[–] Daqu@feddit.de 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Masturbating with corn flakes is not easy

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Not with that attitude...
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] riodoro1@lemmy.world 49 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Isn’t he also the guy who made circumcision a family tradition in the US?

[–] JBloodthorn@kbin.social 22 points 1 year ago

And carbolic acid burns for baby girls, yup. Anything to reduce sensation and stop masturbation.

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 19 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The Victorian mentality of “I saw alcohol kill bacteria under the microscope so I’m prescribing vodka to everyone.” Good that everyone is sane in this century and no public figures make deductions like these anymore.

[–] sarsaparilyptus@midwest.social 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In John Harvey Kellogg's case, it was even worse. Much like the guy who invented graham crackers, it was "So drunkenness leads to cirrhosis, gluttony leads to obesity, pre-condom promiscuity leads to syphilis, sports lead to injuries, and laziness leads to being a soft couch potato. Clearly this means that pleasure is actually bad and you should make sure you don't eat anything that tastes good, don't drink, don't lift weights, never have sex except to produce one or two children, don't play sports, don't listen to music, don't have fun, don't enjoy anything"

[–] x4740N@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You forgot about anti-vaxxers

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago

First of all, obvious sarcasm.

Second, the reference is Trump's sanitizer idea or this comic.

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I love me some heart dewormer, though

[–] phatskat@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago

Water enemas yes, but his favorite was yogurt.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 32 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

So declared J.H. Kellogg

Kellogg also claimed that his corn flakes would stop people masturbating because it was super bland.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If bland cereals prevent masturbation, that must be why Tony the Tiger is so enthusiastic about frosted flakes.

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Wait, what is the frosting? WHAT IS THE FROSTING?!?

[–] the_beber@lemm.ee 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Make the skin yellow and put a leaf on the head and you‘ll have a yellow Pikmin.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Pikmin 3 released a year later in 2013. Holy shit!

[–] skyler@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

The 2012 baby found work doing mo cap for pikmin.

[–] teft@startrek.website 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Within 2 centuries? How fast do they think evolution works?

[–] phatskat@sh.itjust.works 54 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well he was a seventh day Adventist who though cumming made Jesus cry and shot yogurt up his ass and commented that “someday black people could learn from whites how to be close approximations of people”, I don’t think science was his strong suit

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I mean, if you believe that Earth is 4000 years old, you can’t really appretiate the time scale required for evolution...

However, bat ears and more sophisticated speech organs would be a cool way to speed up interpersonal communication, which was still going strong back then.

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hey now! 6000 years old, don't exaggerate

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sorry. I mistook 4000 years ago/BCE.

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I was just being sarcatic, it's equally ridiculous either way haha

[–] nieceandtows@programming.dev 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Can confirm. I'm the 2012 baby.

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

I don't think you're allowed on here yet

[–] NGC2346@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 year ago

The 2012 baby is not real he can't hurt you

the 2012 baby:

[–] monkeytennis@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Not far off some I've seen, just needs more wrinkles

[–] The_Cleanup_Batter@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Sexist and classist fear mongering never looked so memeable.

[–] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Less go! I pull up

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Thank god my daughter was born in 2010!

[–] Silvia@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Is that Mr. Popo?