this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2025

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-12

What would you do if you found out that your mother or sister was a sex worker? (lemmynsfw.com)

submitted 2 days ago by Due@lemmynsfw.com to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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[–] Stillwater@sh.itjust.works 26 points 2 days ago

Mind my business

[–] 6nk06@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I would learn how to cross-post on Lemmy because it's an invaluable skill.

[–] GreyEyedGhost@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

Since my mother or sister aren't sex workers, I guess I'm off the hook, no matter how valuable a skill cross-posting is.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

Probably the same thing as if I found out she was a waitress.

I'd ask how she enjoys it and mirror her emotions. If she's happy, I'm happy. If she hates it, I'll keep an eye out for other opportunities for her.

[–] Taiatari@lemmynsfw.com 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Nothing, it is their life and not my place to judge.

[+] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world -13 points 2 days ago (2 children)

What if they were selling drugs? What if they were landlords and charged a bit too much? Would you judge then? When will you comment on people's actions and not just practice fencesitting? Honest question.

[–] Drekaridill@feddit.is 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Personally, when their actions start harming others.

[+] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world -10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Themselves is alright? You have to admit that doing sex work at least comparatively increases the risk of psychological damage, right? A little bit like being on deployment, I guess, to give a non-sexual example. What if a friend started doing coke or went hard in their alcoholism?

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago (2 children)

[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works -1 points 2 days ago

This is most often used against people asking in good faith in my experience than those who just want to troll people. In this case, the sealion is actually being perfectly acceptable, the first person doesn't get to slander a group of people without defending their slander to said group of people.

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world -5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I identify but I'd like to believe I'm not just 'barging into people's homes' and being disruptive since this is an online discussion space. 😅

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You were asking a lot of questions in one comment. I think, just based on way too much experience as a shitposter, that you'll have better luck if you ask one or two, add some filler text to show investment, and then wait for an answer.

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My fingers just type almost as fast as the thoughts come by, that's all. I wasn't really planning for anything besides giving an honest reply, lol.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Self-editing is other-care. Don't dump your adult-level responsibilities on the community. Do your own tailoring, admitted "argumentative" book club cultist. 🤌🏼 Now, fuck off.

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 0 points 1 day ago

Trust me, everything I said was what I meant and if I feel something needs correcting and I catch it I do it. And there's no need for this reaction...

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I mean, you generally are supposed to have control of your own affairs. We make an exception for, like, actual psychosis, but I think choosing sex work is well within the set of decisions a reasonable person could make. Depending on exact details (like gender and orientation) the money can be great, and sex is popular.

Consuming substances is generally put in the same category; the best you can do with an alcoholic is tell them you're concerned, maybe as a group, and bugging a smoker at all is considered rude. Certain drugs are illegal as well, but fairly randomly and only for historical reasons.

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I wasn't arguing on whether it's profitable or not (of course it is), many things are profitable and not good for you. But yes, all you can truly do when it comes to these sorts of things is advise people... 😁

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

And I wouldn't even advise against sex work, honestly. If anything being a camgirl sounds like a relatively low-stress job.

Your username makes me suspicious the mental health impact isn't actually your problem with it. And that maybe you don't want people to make be able to make choices for themselves, or at least those people.

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Of course I don't want them to do that job (prostitution, but I'm also against cam work, which is definitely different in their psychological impact). And if you're entirely aware and mentally stable and out of greed you open your legs and contribute to a society that commodifies everything including what should be an almost sacred union between two loving people, turning it into something bestial and transactional, then I judge that part of you negatively and I think for the sake of everyone you should stop. Certainly.

But I've lived and interacted enough with Roxannes to know they simply aren't okay and often started super young and can't even function in society anymore. Not everyone is part of the Kardashian/Jenner family, for example.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I don't doubt that's true, it's a really quick way for a women to make money if they're really desperate. I'd also assume it's less true as you move away from the streetwalkers.

And if you’re entirely aware and mentally stable and out of greed you open your legs and contribute to a society that commodifies everything including what should be an almost sacred union between two loving people, turning it into something bestial and transactional, then I judge that part of you negatively and I think for the sake of everyone you should stop. Certainly.

That's sounds pretty much like what I was raised with. First of all, welcome to Lemmy. You're going to have problems here as a Christian (evangelical?) conservative, but the downvotes can't hurt you.

I question that very narrow characterisation of human sexuality, and I question it very hard. It's not even in the Bible; the stories it tells involving sex have a much more feudal or tribal vibe to them. Song of Songs could be seen as a counterexample, but even there, the interpretation I was taught involved an arranged marriage to a powerful dictator.

I also question if someone else commodifying something somewhere actually hurts you or me. And if making rent, like the streetwalkers are, counts as greed.

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Thank you for your kind words! And it doesn't have to be in the Bible when I have lived and I understand how vacuous sex without love is, for instance, and how damaging it can be for both parties involved (well, one I know by experience and the other by observation). Why would God want that for me? But Jesus was very much against it for instance ("your sins are forgiven" to the 'sinful woman' because there was something wrong there, not because there wasn't), and the Qur'an is thoroughly and consistently against turning sex into a banal experience as well.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Yeah, if my guess was wrong and you're actually Muslim, I don't know the whole doctrine. I know bits and pieces, and it seems a fair bit more self-consistent based on them, although also very, very at odds with modern attitudes about certain things I'm sure other Lemmings will eventually confront you with.

(Jesus was pretty emphatically against even divorce in the Bible, including in that parable, while protestants aren't necessarily. And the ones that do avoid it at all cost often end up in loveless marriages, which is definitely not great for your mental health, or that of your children)

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

They aren't fence sitting at all. They made their choice to not judge someone for doing sex work. Why does that upset you so much?

Maybe they would judge someone for the other things, but that hadn't been asked yet.

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world -2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Everything with a moral component can be judged. You can judge it entirely positively. That person decided not to comment (on anything, actually, because "it's not his life", as if that meant anything besides the obvious truth that everyone has their own lives, lol), I feel like my reply follows!

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Does being a janitor have a moral component? Must we decide whether or not to celebrate or condemn janitors, or would it be acceptable to just consider it a job?

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world -4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Of course it does. Things are dirty and people need to clean them, people like clean spaces invariably, wouldn't we both say it's a net positive for society? The worst of janitors is the one keeping things tidy in the CIA offices for instance, letting these monsters cook their next psy-op, lol, but even then their impact is negligible in the success of the war machine. When it comes to themselves, as long as they're protected from dangerous materials, they should be fine physically. Is it harmful for their psyche to clean? Maybe without good music 🤷 but not as much as opening your legs to random men who use you basically as a disposable masturbatory aid several times a day. Breaking the link between love, commitment and sex is not just a big taboo, but it's (more importantly) psychologically damaging, and whatever ideology you have to create to stomach it (plus whatever bad habits regarding substances you might have developed trying to cope with it all) will have to be disposed of before developing an actual connection with another human being/re-entering society. You can't get there just by sweeping floors, and to even mention otherwise is either foolish or a statement made in bad faith, but I entertained it because it could be the former.

Listen, besides the fact that it's just 'socially transgressive', the biggest sin behind prostitution is the sin of self-harm. That's all. Morally, if we're discussing the global ramifications of ones actions, it's way better to be a prostitute with 50 clients a day for years (as long as you're clean, ofc) than an IDF soldier for one day, or even an investment banker. But to say self-harm is okay because "their body, their rules" and it makes them money is a product of moral relativity and ideological confusion.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Ok. I've found the problem here. You have an opinion on the topic, but you think that you have facts. So you're convinced that people with a different opinion are wrong.

Hope that helps.

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago

Have a good day.

[–] GreyEyedGhost@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You need to balance the harm caused by allowing people to engage in self-harm with the harm imposed by removing someone's freedom of choice. If God Himself thought it was important for us to have free will, what right do you or I have to remove it?

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I could never, as in I certainly don't have any capacity to do so. Expressing my opinion publicly is not a restraint on your will, lol. Maybe if I came to your house and kidnapped you but not just me yapping online!

[–] treyyy@lemmings.world 4 points 2 days ago

This was reality for me. Grew up in a bad area in a one bedroom apartment with my single mom. She worked 2 jobs, one included being a stripper (also provided escort services to a few customers). I hated her job and I could tell she did too, but she did it to make ends meet so I had to come to terms with it.

[–] Vanth@reddthat.com 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Mother - celebrate that she's managed to break free from her trad cat cult group. Probably ask probing questions to make sure she's safe because she does not navigate the modern, digital world much.

Sister - quite surprised in that I suspect she's asexual and also has a financially stable STEM job, but whatever. She's quite intentional about her life planning so she would have reasons and would thoroughly lock down her security and privacy to the extent she wants.

[–] Drekaridill@feddit.is 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Your mom is in a cat cult?

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Might have meant 'cath', though I'm not sure what a traditional catheter cult would be, but it doesn't sound pleasant.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

It probably means catholic, since I can't tell if the second bit was sarcastic.

[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 days ago

Sister - Quite surprised (that I have a sister).
Mother - Don't really care, but I'd probably have some remarks as she's strongly pro-traditional family, anti-abortion and christian. Would be quite the irony.

[–] ScrambledEggs@lazysoci.al 3 points 2 days ago

My mother is dead so I guess, good for her?

[–] Ghyste@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago

I will say I appreciate that you asked a hypothetical open-ended question for a change.

[–] Fletcher 3 points 2 days ago

I'd have an open and respectful discussion with them, asking the following questions: Are they safe? Are they in full control of the money they earn? Is this their own decision? Are they happy? If they answer positively to all of these questions, then I wouldn't have anything more to say. It's their body and their life, not mine.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Sister - K.

Mother - Shocked, she's probably ace. And, y'know, it's probably not a huge earner at her age.

[–] chunes@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

It depends on how old I was at the time. I can't imagine reacting well as a teenager, nor should that be expected, frankly.