I like how the response emojis say "No" and "I came"
this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2023
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the "1984" got me good. XD
“I would argue that masturbation is the human animal's most important adaptation. The very cornerstone of our technological civilization. Our hands evolved to grip tools, all right—including our own. You see, thinkers, inventors, and scientists are usually geeks, and geeks have a harder time getting laid than anyone. Without the built-in sexual release valve provided by masturbation, it's doubtful that early humans would have ever mastered the secrets of fire or discovered the wheel. And you can bet that Galileo, Newton, and Einstein never would have made their discoveries if they hadn't first been able to clear their heads by slapping the salami (or "knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom"). The same goes for Marie Curie. Before she discovered radium, you can be certain she first discovered the little man in the canoe.” - Ernest Cline
If this isn't a joke (which i think it is), you have a very skewed sense of scientists. If it is a joke, then carry on my dude.
It is indeed a joke
Masturbation is an innovator. So many inventions go back to "because porn". Take current AI development for example, there's a massive drive because porn and porn has only one job.
"The little man in the canoe" might be the best one I've heard yet
God, I fucking hate Ernest Cline.
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(4 replies)
Ridiculous! We should protest this by making Lemmy posts for announcing masturbations
Yes annocement #1: im now mastrobating
omg, pls! why??? im in bed trying to get sleepy so i can go to work with decent rest tomorrow, but instead, im in bed lmao because you guys want to start a ridiculous movement 😆
I was on the nyc subway when this happened. I was chilling browsing the Web when one my homies hit me up on discord and sent me a gif of a big musslely black man doing the thugshaker I then began to start furiously mastrobating to the picture of the big mussley blackman doing the thugshaker people started looking at me and saying things such as omg and stop it I then in a haste dropped my phone and one by one all the other men in the train started to furiously mastrobate too. My peenis was but a little stub at this point.by the end the entire train was filled with mastrobating men all hovered over one phone playing a gif of a man doing the thugshaker. Be warned @I'm back on my bs you may suffer the same fate to if your not careful
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art source : https://www.artstation.com/artwork/KrQ9by
Yeah, it's discord, not fucking 4chan. Have a little decorum, ya reprobate.
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But its still ok to announce when you have just returned from masturbating, right?
The only correct way to announce masturbation.
Now if it was mostly female strangers it would be at least understandable.
Yeah, that was a weird way to put that. Clearly nobody in that group has social skills.
My brother is autistic and this is the type of autistic person who is hated by other autistic people. This is why autistic people hate mentioning it, because they get lumped in with these people.
Pardon me, but what the hell are you going on about?
Could it be that you are commenting under the wrong Post?
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Wait, this is getting even more interesting. Who is the kind of autistic person that is hated by other autistic people: (a) people that try to be nice about enforcing a no masterbation announcement rule or (b) people that announce they are going to go masterbate? Also, does your brother fall under a, b, or something else?
It's almost definitely B. Most people on the spectrum would not say "im gonna go masturbate" and those who are would use autism as an excuse for why they behave that way, which is just not valid. Autism can make it harder to behave in a way that is socially acceptable, but not like this, hence why others on the spectrum dont like people like this. They use autism as a sort of sheild to allow them to behave in ways that are just not right. The best example of this i can think of off hand is Chris-Chan, but they are an extreme case of this. Anyways, people like this make it harder to be upfront on the fact that you are on the spectrum, because the first thing that comes to mind will be people like that.
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(2 replies)
Autistic people who announce when they're going to masturbate make all other autistic people cringe for being so incredibly unaware and making the rest of them look weird.
I don't think anyone was assuming these people were autistic. It's possible you have a skewed view because you are around an autistic person more that most people.
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Please redirect all such messages to the masturbation announcement channel.
Hey everyone, I'm going to choke my snake!
How'd you go, bud?
Discord statuses after this announcement be like:
That discord’s users must have dedication to make these emotion reactions happen.
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Sounds like a server full of master baiters.
Go away, baitn
as if discord is where weird chat was invented. what's that, me, oh i'm not familiar at all with the ancient chats!
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Seems those people are under appreciated there, they should cum here!
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Okay, what about jousting? Hear me out okay!? Isn't that how the large hardon collider works?
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