this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2024
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Not The Onion

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[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 96 points 10 months ago (3 children)

So it's either a bunch of kids setting off fireworks which was mistaken for gunshots...

Which is backed up by a shit ton of evidence...

OR

It's 10 foot tall aliens because some idiot on social media thought they saw a blurry shadow walking around cop cars...

We may never know /s

[–] MxM111@kbin.social 11 points 10 months ago

I want to believe (TM)

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I love the idea of an alien invasion in Miami and the first you hear of it is a bunch of gunfire as random citizens just declare war on the aliens within second.

“Oh my god what’s that??”

“It’s kinda shadowy”

“Open fire!”

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Well... it is Florida and shadows are black...

[–] stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

There’s not one video I could find of any sort of fight or these fireworks. They lined the streets with dozens of cop cars. You gotta admit it’s a bit strange

[–] athos77@kbin.social 35 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Dexerto: Award-winning esports, gaming and influencer coverage, including news, interviews, reviews, opinion, guides and tournament coverage.

Yeah, thanks, I'll get my actual news from sites that habitually cover actual news, not various forms of electronic entertainment.

[–] soggy_kitty@sopuli.xyz 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I've started blocking any Lemmy account which shares shitty news like this. It's a shame because I really wanted Lemmy to be different from Reddit

[–] Andonyx@lemmy.world 28 points 10 months ago

There's still plenty of time for Rockstar to make this a mission in GTAVI.

[–] treadful@lemmy.zip 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The fuck are they circling?

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 14 points 10 months ago

A dude in a white hoodie about to get lit tf up by an execution squad.

[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Aliens abducted my personality and now I gotta talk about shadow monsters to feel interesting.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

Don't use Benadryl recreationally, your organs can't take the experience.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

You'd think people in miami seen a brother before

[–] deathbird@mander.xyz 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Florida Man went to the mall on DMT?

[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 5 points 10 months ago (3 children)

DMT is too short-acting, unfortunately. Florida man went to mall on PCP, most likely.

If there is anything that Florida needs more of, it's DMT. That, and any other psychedelics they can get. Having everyone in the state take breakthrough dosages might do the world some good.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I've never done DMT (and at this point based on my medications, I wouldn't want to risk serotonin syndrome). How short-acting is it?

[–] NoIWontPickaName@kbin.social 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

15 minutes and I am almost positive that dmt affects serotonin.

MDMA is the main one for that.

I could be wrong so double check an interaction chart, combos can be weird.

Looking at you cocaethylene.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I am on several medications for a nerve disorder. I pretty much stay away from everything but weed just in case.

[–] teamevil@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Shrooms literally grow in the humid cow pastures.

[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 4 points 10 months ago

That's cool if you are lucky enough to find them and identify them correctly. P. cubensis does OK on poo, but it does great with just some coco coir instead. It's a mushroom that loves to be cultivated. The Pacific North West is really the ideal location for finding wild mushrooms. (You can find them all over the place, but there is a ton of luck involved.)

Honestly, I would rather forage for p. semilanceata, aka, Liberty Cap. It grows in regular grass next to streams or ponds and not necessarily in poo. They are generally a bit stronger but also a bit smaller. With the exception of one look-alike that I know about, they are easier to identify.

[–] NoIWontPickaName@kbin.social 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

DMT ingested orally with an MAOI would do it

[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Ah yeah. The good ol' ayahuasca blends.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Black currant juice and DMT is a wild ride.

[–] thorbot@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

I hate our modern world. One dumb fuck says one stupid fucking thing and pretty soon everyone’s parroting it like it’s fact. Fuck

[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 11 points 10 months ago

Of course its Florida Man being visited by aliens

[–] NatakuNox@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago

Police can't wait to beat up a nearly 9 foot tall brown person from Mexico. Smh

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Okay, but here's my question:

When they went to return the Christmas present to Macy's, did they bring the receipt?

[–] JustZ@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

They take limited no receipt returns with photo ID.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

What if you're from out of state? What if you're from out of the country? What if you're a 10-foot tall alien from another planet?

[–] JustZ@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago

Stop shoplifting.

[–] Mammal@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Kind of amazed that cops didn't just randomly start opening fire at anything that moves.

[–] emptyother@programming.dev 9 points 10 months ago

They probably did, and it did nothing, as in most monster/alien movies. Then the MiB showed up, sent it back up, and mind wiped everyone involved.

[–] Kid_Thunder@kbin.social 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Stranger Things season 3 but in 2024 and in Florida.

[–] Blackdoomax@sh.itjust.works 3 points 10 months ago

Florida Alien.

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Just had co-workers telling us about this as if it was the strangest thing ever, that there were "shadow aliens". They said that there was a bunch of military and Homeland Security that showed up to it as well (haven't seen anything about that anywhere) and that they confiscated any video or phones that anybody had of it... but that all sounds pretty far-fetched in this day and age. Like, yea, I believe somewhere out there, aliens of some sort exist... but for them to just show up at a Miami mall of all places is kind of stretching it.

The only thing kind of weird is that there wasn't any video of the stuff going on inside. I don't doubt all those cops would've been called out based on what little information they may have had in the beginning, maybe all they got a report of was "explosions" in the mall and so obviously they think it's something else, but that nobody has a cell phone video of this 50-person brawl breaking out is strange in this day and age.

[–] roho@lemmy.ml 0 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Here are some people speaking out about what they had happen:

Cops are not allowed to comment on it:

Cellphone was taken:

When you freak out for your life, you don't press record:

[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 2 points 10 months ago
[–] roho@lemmy.ml 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

On tiktok i found this;

1st hand witness #1 https://www.tiktok.com/@portarok/video/7320640607658052907

~~1st hand witness #2 https://odysee.com/@InfoNews:f/Miami-Eyewitness:9 .~~ (on his tiktok he admits making it up)

Regarding the rooftop video-shot which is all over the news, as if there’s an alien walking… There a better video from another angle, showing those are 3 cops walking… https://youtu.be/fhyx_22iZIE?t=557

[–] XeroxCool@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

I'm thinking some high voltage experiments. Maybe a few microwave transformers in series. I imagine the "digital" look could be some alternating light sources bouncing across a few feet at a ~20hz frequency. The funny glasses could be welding goggles. And then some wild shadow effect as someone reaches over a stupidly blinding light? It'd potentially flip the shadow and look right side up for a witness. I'm not saying I know what happened, just trying to sound out my next Halloween prop