266
Poseidon why (lemmy.world)
all 25 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] 6daemonbag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 5 months ago

Imagine being the first one to use a fresh porta potty. No smell, other than that blue chemical water down at the bottom. It's so damn clean.

"Great!" you exclaim with excitement. So you sit down on that smooth dry toilet seat and, relaxing, a tremendous donker just falls right out of you.

The mass is too great. The distance. The speed and acceleration. It isn't even a second of time, but you know. You know.

GaTHUNK

A cold blue kiss races towards the moon. A moon so relaxed the single crater yawns beckoningly wide. The kiss forms into a dull spear, racing towards the darkened maw. It enters beyond the shadow. Fully into the heavenly body. Cold meets heat.

You yelp in shock. There is cold artificially blue water deep in your butthole. The sudden tension passes and as your muscles relax again, some of that cold drains back down to earth. A light shower.

You were looking forward to this festival all year and you spend the entire time distractedly thinking in shame about how something so fortuitous turned to disaster in moments. You didn't bring a change of underwear. Why would you?

[-] flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 months ago

Thanks, that was a great read...

I sorta feel the need to scrape myself clean after, but it was worth it

[-] 6daemonbag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 5 months ago

This actually happened to me. I spent the whole day imagining how blue my ass was, too distracted to truly enjoy myself. Obviously I told everyone because I also thought it was funny but.... UGH

[-] MIDItheKID@lemmy.world 23 points 5 months ago

Wasn't this basically the original f7u12 rage comic?

It weird to think just how much prominent internet culture originated on 4chan in the earlier days of memes

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 5 points 5 months ago

It's the advantage of barely moderated places like that, fosters creativity since anything goes. But then again, anything goes is also a big downside.

[-] chaosppe@lemmy.world 16 points 5 months ago

Inside? Are you gaping? πŸ˜‚

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 9 points 5 months ago

If the turd is big enough to cause the water to splash up your butt, it's probably also big enough to leave you wide open.

[-] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 months ago

Vulnerable yes, sphincterless no

[-] umbrella@lemmy.ml 1 points 5 months ago

i mean he just took a shit

[-] pm_me_your_quackers@lemmy.world 14 points 5 months ago

Get rekt you non-bidet having fucks

[-] Assman@sh.itjust.works 9 points 5 months ago

Bidet? I'm not some weirdo European. Anyway, time to smear dry paper on my ass crack and then go about my day.

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 6 points 5 months ago

"Hate it? I go out of my way to have it happen!"

[-] pm_me_your_quackers@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

Why stop at posiden's kiss when you can have posiden's piss

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

Poseidon's power washer

[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

I pressure wash my prostate because it feels nice.

[-] Kotsi3P0@lemmy.ml 13 points 5 months ago

Oh a good old Poseidon's kiss...

[-] mp3@lemmy.ca 7 points 5 months ago
[-] Pinklink@lemm.ee 4 points 5 months ago

And it’s always non-consensual

[-] db2@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

Basket Case is such an underrated series. πŸ™

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago
[-] db2@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

URLs with an ampersand break badly, try rehosting it somewhere like catbox.moe

[-] madmaurice@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 5 months ago

i...inside? πŸ˜΅β€πŸ’«

[-] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

That's why I prefer the flat flushing type.

this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2024
266 points (93.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

25112 readers
5325 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS