this post was submitted on 16 Jan 2024
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Greentext

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[–] aport@programming.dev 70 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Bro waited too long. Tinder ain't for penpals.

[–] scarilog@lemmy.world 63 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Tbf it's been one day and OP thinks they got ghosted, when in reality there might be tons of different reasons why he hasn't got a reply yet

[–] Cethin@lemmy.zip 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yeah, but just before new years? They were wanting new years plans, and they probably made some.

[–] onion@feddit.de 20 points 2 years ago (1 children)

How about saying what you want then?

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Women think men hate women taking the lead because a lot of men hate women taking the lead.

[–] Sentau@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Why though¿? I understand preferring to take the lead but why do men actually hate it when women take the lead¿?

[–] Thief_of_Crows@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 years ago

The same reason cave men didn't try to eat the gazelle that was lying right next to their cave for 2 days. All the ones who did eat it, died. When things feel too easy, it sets off alarms that suggest it might not be as good as it seems. Men don't actually hate it, it just tends to set off their inborn defenses. If you want to take the lead on a man, try to show him that he's done something to earn your affection. Probably most applicable to strangers.

[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Those men are terrible, and ruin things for the rest of us.

My now-wife sent the first message, and I'm so glad she did. It was super rare even close to a decade ago.

[–] thegiddystitcher@lemm.ee 15 points 2 years ago

Including whatever it was he said just before she stopped replying.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 5 points 2 years ago

"Hey, haven't heard back in a bit, everything okay?"

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 28 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Not sure why the downvotes, this is a likely scenario. Back when I was bothering with the app, I realized this quickly. There seems to be a line if at which point you're still gabbing but not meeting up, either party is likely to move on.

[–] Tetra@kbin.social 64 points 2 years ago

That's when it hurts the most. When you feel like things are working out great, when you pour your heart and soul into it, and they suddenly lose interest, and you're not even granted an explanation as to why or what you might've done or said wrong, if anything. Just left feeling like you're simply not a lovable enough person, and never will be.

[–] doylio@lemmy.ca 36 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I'm convinced that dating apps are no longer a good way to find a relationship. They've realized that if their users get into LTRs it will hurt their revenue.

I used to be an avid user of most dating apps, but I've had a much more fulfilling love life since quitting them to focus on meeting people IRL

[–] Igloojoe@lemm.ee 11 points 2 years ago

Also, most are owned by match.com and they just shit up all the sites trying to penny push the users.

[–] elfin8er@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

I noticed my spam go up as soon as I signed up for one. Pretty sure they sell all your data.

[–] jabathekek@sopuli.xyz 18 points 2 years ago (3 children)
[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Alto@kbin.social 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I can't get enough

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

Is French bread

[–] ggwithgg@feddit.nl 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Makes rythm, makes rythm, makes rythm

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Haven't used the apps in years. But never really thought of them as a conversation tool.

I only used them for meeting, quick chat, and then setting up a date.

[–] elfin8er@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Every time I've tried to have a quick chat and set up a date, I'm called creepy for wanting to meet in person right away. Guess I'm not good looking enough.

[–] MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

Remember boys and girls: It’s only creepy if you’re ugly.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 years ago

Guess I'm not good looking enough.

Hey now, it could just be your social skills.

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Things may have changed, I'm older now. By quick chat, I mean back-forth over like maybe a week give or take. Get a date the next week.

One thing, most miss about these apps, is like IRL it is about volume to some degree. Meet as many people as you can. If you get dates from 20-30% of your interactions you're doing really good...

[–] magnetosphere@kbin.social 15 points 2 years ago

I agree that he waited too long, but simply ghosting on someone in a situation like this is a cruel, shitty thing to do.