this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2024
357 points (88.6% liked)

Facepalm

2647 readers
615 users here now

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 149 points 9 months ago (5 children)

Wait, that's actually a real poster? What. The. Fuck.

[–] ThePantser@lemmy.world 215 points 9 months ago (28 children)

Yea, both were drunk but fuck Jake and his rights because he has the penis.

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 34 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I can understand and appreciate the intentions, but there are few things worse than good intentions without intelligence, flexibility and nuance, as the statements below seem accurate and feel utterly screwed up:

He got drunk and had sex with a woman - HE goes to jail.
She got drunk and had sex with a man - HE goes to jail.

It's almost like what Public Enemy said in "Fear Of A Black Planet":
Black man, black woman - black baby
White man, black woman - black baby
Black man, white woman - black baby

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (27 replies)
[–] NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip 36 points 9 months ago (34 children)

I mean, it is more than a bit sexist but... that is probably the demographic who need to understand this in a college environment.

Consent is incredibly important and a LOT of media for the past few decades shat on it. No, I don't (just) mean how basically every movie in the 80s was about raping people. I mean even "Okay, what if we got you/her drunk?" and so forth. I want to say even Friends and Seinfeld played the idea of one of the guys getting their girlfriend drunk for laughs (well, I think Jerry used turkey?).

Reminding people "that is a crime and you can go to jail" is important... even if people rapidly learn that rich white guys never go to jail.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 52 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I know two males who were raped by women when unconscious in college, and neither of them were okay with it.

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 47 points 9 months ago (2 children)

People always picture a huge unattractive woman when this gets brought up.

But one of my college roommates got raped by a girl who was at least "an 8".

They had hooked when he was blackout and she was just tipsy. He wanted nothing to do with her tho, and told her that repeatedly. She was just hot, young, and had never been turned down before.

So like a week later we have a party he's not at. She showed up early, had two beers, then went to "wait" in his bed. Even though everyone was telling her not to do that.

When he shows up, still wants nothing to do with her, so just gets blacked out at the party instead of kicking her out of his bed asap. I guess trying to wait her out and hoping she'd eventually give up.

By the time he finally goes to bed, he's blacked out and she's been in there line 6-8 hours and completely sober.

Next morning she teased him about how they had sex again but he kept falling asleep during it.

If he was a chick, no one would argue that the second time was rape. Hell, we'd have probably fought a guy if he kept insisting he was going to "wait" in a drunk girls bed who was clear she didn't want anything to do with him.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (33 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] m0darn@lemmy.ca 108 points 9 months ago (9 children)

I'm not a law talking guy, this isn't the law, and it isn't ethical best practice but it might help people understand the reasonableness of the poster.

I believe it's true that drunk people can't consent. I think that what juries are likely to actually care about is the question:

Did the accused have the reasonable belief that the plaintiff would consent to sex while sober?

If you're in a police interview or a trial and are asked:

What made you think the plaintiff consented to your actions?

And all you can say without perjuring yourself is:

I vaguely recall that they seemed kinda into it, and they didn't say no, oh! and they didn't fight back.

You're going to have a bad time. ESPECIALLY if you've been drinking, because it will be easier to question the reasonableness of your belief in their consent.

This poster is clearly meant for a place similar to a university dormitory.

This poster is bad because: it makes the law seem lopsided, and perpetuates sexist ideas about gender and sex.

The poster is good because: unfortunately, too many men think that if a girl is drunk at a place where he thinks the girls are looking for drunk hookups, that she consents to whatever she doesn't fight (and maybe more). Too many men misunderstand consent and have dangerous ideas about what women really want. It's much better they be scared into over thinking whether they're risking arrest than that they rape somebody.

Obviously more nuance is good, but if you're trying to stop drunk 18 year olds from raping/being raped, taping up a poster like this in the stairwell is more effective than taping up an essay.

[–] kerrigan778@lemmy.world 50 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Let me slide in here and say absolutely not to one key point here. If you are in a law office or a trial and you are asked anything, especially regarding something as serious as a rape accusation, you say absolutely nothing, you shut the fuck up and let your attorney do the talking.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] doctorcrimson 31 points 9 months ago (21 children)

It's a good poster, and statistically men are probably in the wrong more often, but it's core fundamental flaw is that NEITHER party could consent and technically Josie committed rape by the same logic that Jake did.

load more comments (21 replies)
[–] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 17 points 9 months ago (7 children)

I think the issue with this poster is that it's SO lopsided that it doesn't make any sense. They're outlining a very specific scenario that implies that only males can rape, and that males are more capable of decision making when drunk than females. It's simultaneously misogynist and misandrist.

A much better take on a college campus night be to illustrate different levels of drunkenness. Alice was sloshed and Bob was tipsy. Or illustrate that the same quantity of alcohol can lead to vastly different levels of intoxication. Alice and Bob both had 3 drinks. Alice is sloshed, bob is tipsy.

As is, if I had seen this poster during any developmental years I'd have written it off as bs propaganda and done what I was gonna do anyway. Fortunately, that's not-raping in my case, but for some people, it may be a bit blurrier. And, at worst, some people may see this, see how horribly lopsided it is, and decide it MUST be full of shit and do the opposite.

load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] PoliticallyIncorrect@lemmy.world 95 points 9 months ago (9 children)

Males can consent while drunk, females can't.. bullshit it isn't equal.

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] Lojcs@lemm.ee 73 points 9 months ago

I hate how this also manages to objectify women.

[–] polysics@lemmy.world 72 points 9 months ago (7 children)

So what if it's two men? Or two women?

[–] Jimmyeatsausage@lemmy.world 46 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Typically, the one doing the penetrating is charged. Not always, there are cases of heterosexual rape where the woman is the aggressor. These posters are from a not-too-distant past where only men raped only women. If it was 2 guys, it was just weird gay stuff. Girl was the aggressor...guy should feel lucky. 2 girls; "nice."

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Wahots@pawb.social 33 points 9 months ago

Index out of bounds exception

[–] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 28 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Well, clearly with two men they raped each other. Two women, no crime.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The universe collapses in on itself, turning into a supermassive ultrablack hole

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] riodoro1@lemmy.world 70 points 9 months ago (13 children)

If Josie killed someone while being drunk, would that mean she should get a lower sentence because she cannot be held responsible for her actions while intoxicated?

load more comments (13 replies)
[–] Ziglin@lemmy.world 68 points 9 months ago (6 children)

Why does this only apply to women though?

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] thorbot@lemmy.world 53 points 9 months ago (11 children)

So according to this, every time a lady and I hook up after a few drinks it's rape? The fuck?

[–] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 27 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Get outta here you rapist!

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] endhits@lemmy.world 19 points 9 months ago

Only if you're male.

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 48 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This poster is so old, it probably from the 1990's

Yes, it is dumb. Yes it is sexist. But it is not the consensus of society. Not by a long shot.

That doesn't prevent incels from bringing it up every time some women thinks they are a creep, just so they can hate on how "disadvantaged we males are compared to women" and how "any type of relationship with women are bound to be awful for the man".

Both sexes have advantages and disadvantages. Whining about this same issue over and over without actually doing something about it isn't helping anything. And neither is blaming the opposite sex.

[–] lud@lemm.ee 26 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

It didn't look to be from the 90s to me so I searched and it's from 2008

Source is this paper about the poster: Jake and Josie Get Drunk and Hook Up: An Exploration of Mutual Intoxication and Sexual Assault

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Letstakealook@lemm.ee 47 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (6 children)

My mother was a sexual assault response coordinator (SARC) for the military in the early aughts. This led to some really weird situations for us as a family, like having to pretend we didn't know why this strange woman who wasn't here when we went to bed last night is now having breakfast with us. The worst one was probably when it was a friend of mine having breakfast with us. Anyway, my mother really impressed on me that it did not matter if the woman initiated, if I was drunk as well, that I should not, under any circumstances, engage in drunken hookups. I disagree that when two drunk (hetero) people have sex, the man is automatically a rapist. But at the end of the day, my opinion doesn't matter. The law does. Keep this in mind, fellas, get her number instead. The risk ain't worth it.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] MeanEYE@lemmy.world 42 points 9 months ago (9 children)

This is such bullshit. What happens if she is the one raping? She's excused and guy is still guilty? Moronic.

[–] reverendsteveii@lemm.ee 44 points 9 months ago (7 children)

What happens if she is the one raping?

Your friends make fun of you and tell you to shut up. Ask me how I know.

[–] Masamune@lemmy.world 20 points 9 months ago

Or, you bottle it up inside and let it slowly destroy you.

I assume we both know for the same reasons. I'm sorry my dude.

load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments (8 replies)
[–] crashoverride@lemmy.world 39 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Drunk people can consent. Being drunk doesn't make you do things you don't want to do. It's not a magic potion for fuck sake

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Shadow@lemmy.ca 38 points 9 months ago

Given this poster is over 15 years old and only a handful were printed, I'm gonna guess no.

https://www.dailydot.com/irl/anti-rape-poster-reddit-conversations/

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 29 points 9 months ago (4 children)

As a 53 yo male, this poster makes me angry.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] cmhe@lemmy.world 25 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

The poster is funny, but apart of the outrage that is causes by some, I think that it could trigger a good discussion.

For instance about how toxic masculinity also hurts men. Under that men are considered weak if they cry and should consider themselves be 'lucky' when they are raped.

And how feminism can help against this as well.

[–] frostysauce@lemmy.world 21 points 9 months ago (3 children)

What if we're both alcoholics that are always drunk?

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] WoahWoah@lemmy.world 17 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

If you enter into a binding contract with someone while they are intoxicated to the point of impairment, the contract can be invalidated on those grounds as long as impairment can be proven in a court.

You can't give reasonable consent while impaired. If it can be further demonstrated that one party intentionally attempted to induce intoxication for the purposes of attaining contractual consent, they can be held criminally liable for that act.

Consent isn't only about sex. It's much murkier and dubious in cases of mutual intoxication and interpersonal relations. This poster is simply trying to make people aware of fairly basic laws regarding consent in the United States. And it's worth knowing.

Men generally have a higher tolerance for alcohol than women even if they are equal height and weight due to differences in alcohol metabolism. There's perhaps some embedded sexism in this poster's standards, but it's better to be informed than incarcerated.

[–] agressivelyPassive@feddit.de 30 points 9 months ago (5 children)

Men also drink more than women. I've seen way more drunk men than women.

This poster implies that women become mindless defenseless fuckdolls after a few drinks while men become sexual predators without any impairments. And that's just stupid.

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 17 points 9 months ago

God damnit Josie, put that pussycat away

load more comments
view more: next ›