Wait that's not Jennifer Lawrence, that's Iron Chancellor Otto Von Bismarck who united the German states under Prussian rule.
this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2024
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Yes, but did you actually say that? Like aloud?
I did now.
I heard if you say it 3 times with the lights off while staring into a mirror he'll appear behind you.
I'd try that, but what do you feed a 19th century Prussian chancellor? I just don't think I have the resources to properly care for such a creature 🤷
What you need is a few good taters. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.
Give it to us raw and wriggling. You keep nasty chips!*
*The statements of Gollum do not reflect the opinions of Viking_Hippie who, if anything, likes chips far too much.
I still find it curious how a South American tuber ends up in a pseudo-medieval alternate European magical land.
I dare you to try it!
This is where John Oliver would jump in to say: except that's not who this is bc one of them is fake.
And then continue with: except that's a lie bc actually, two are fake!
Never trust a man with two first names.
What about three first names? Does the third one cancel out the second, or is the effect cumulative?
"Von" isn't a first name, it's German for of/from. Same with the Dutch "Van", the Italian "da", the French "de" (though that one might mean "the ", I'm not sure) and several other examples from different languages
The Thomas family in my town always names their first son Thomas.
Thomas Thomas the fifth is the most recent heir to this sobriquet.
It took me a minute, they really resemble each other pretty closely. She probably gets confused with Bismarck alot. I bet people are telling her all the time, "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Otto von Bismarck?" and everytime she has to pretend like it's the first time she's ever heard that and thank them for the compliment, but inside she's like, "Goddamnit."
She's a national treasure
If that's true why hasn't Nicholas Cage stolen her?
You should have put at least one actual picture of Otto Von Bismarck alongside these pictures of Jennifer Lawrence to fool us.
𝕯𝖎𝖊𝖘𝖊 𝕶𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖘𝖊𝖐𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝖎𝖘𝖙 𝖆𝖇 𝖏𝖊𝖙𝖟𝖙 𝕰𝖎𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖚𝖒 𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝕭𝖚𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖘𝖗𝖊𝖕𝖚𝖇𝖑𝖎𝖐 𝕯𝖊𝖚𝖙𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖉.
No, those are 3 paintings and one photo of Otto von Bismarck, you silly Billy!
What if someone takes a picture of a painting? (It's a strange scenario, I know.)
Still not a photo of Bismarck but a photo of a painting
If your girl wears a pickelhaube and united the German states, that's not your girl
Also, not all of them are photos.
A photo of a painting is still a photo
Well, a photo of painting is clearly NOT a photo of Jennifer Lawrence.
Bismarck had a plan. Bismarck always had a plan
Found the Extra History viewer!
Why let a youtube reference get in the way of a good crusade?
Actually it's the hunter from Jumanji
Still would.
Pickelhaube is best haube
what a punchable face
Not enough people recognize that the guy who directly enabled two world wars deserves a punch in the face
What? How? Many say had Bismarck lived long enough, he could have prevented the First World War. He orchestrated the Scramble for Africa to prevent another war of European empires with each other. But that being said, he could have prevented a war at the expense of non-European nations. Bismarck is a boon for Europe but not for the rest of the world.
Leaving aside for the moment his role in colonialism, because only white people matter to WW1 and 2 apparently and fighting over African and Asian colonies had nothing to do with it, he hated democracy and directly enabled the German obsession with totalitarianism. Obviously the Emperors had their own hands in that, but let's be real, they were idiots.
And, honestly, it's not real complicated to note that without Germany and the network of alliances he helped create you don't get two world wars started by Germany.
Now, sure, as a smart person he knew he had to maintain the alliance with Russia to have a balance of power, unlike Wilhelm Jr, but his obsession with top down control, based on his own competence, is what put the reins of ultimate power into the hands of two blithering, monstrous and monstrously arrogant morons.
Hmm.... I see where you're coming from. But it is reductionist to say Bismarck's idea of creating a complex web of alliances to prevent another war ironically led to the two world wars. Remember that this complex system of alliance is meant to deter one empire declaring war to another. It was 19th century's deterrence model as is nuclear deterrence in 20th century to today. These two deterrence models are meant to... well... deter. Many systems designed are meant to work-- until it doesn't. The British intelligence at the time (incorrectly) predicted that the assassination of Franz Ferdinand would not lead to a major war.
Bismarck bit Mark until Mark bit Bismarck
Ahhh uncle Otto. We always just called him Von he hated it but was a good sport.