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Uh...is travelling through time and mass exterminating purple lovecraftian monsters with my pet bird a crime? Because if not, I got nothin

Idk...Being a good lawyer? I was just playing The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles

Driving a Trabant through the desert. Occasionally shooting rabid bunnies.

Going a-víking and dismembering "a few" Englishmen...

RimWorld... I'm not the type for cannibalism or human skin hats, but I do produce and sell a shitload of cocaine.

Oh, and I killed a child colonist, in this run. There was a bug in her age-up event, and the game would not let me proceed until she was... removed. I hate killing children, but since it was the end of the world without doing so, I give myself a pass this time

Being an ex yakuza

Rolling a ball that, through exponential growth, eventually starts to swallow up the likes of skyscrapers, clouds, Godzilla, and the planets of the galaxy.

Demolishing robots with a magnetic guitar-sword in beat with my rock playlist that plays in my heart.🤘

Genociding an entire planet, making said planet implode.

I'd probably be done in for EPA violations (Satisfactory).

For yelling too loud.

Statement of an observing police officer:

They say ToxicWaste murdered that Salesman... with his voice! Shouted him apart!

Gunning down helpess mutants, raiders, and scavengers who happen to cross my path in a nuclear wasteland. I think I might get the chair for mass genocide.

Running a 75 ton Timberwolf Battlemech.

Pretty sure just turning the thing on would be enough to get me arrested. Civilians typically aren't allowed Surface To Surface missiles, and megawatt power lasers that are effective weapons at a range of over 1000m.

I'll have a 100 ton Madcat 2 soon.

Being too homosexual.

FFXIV

Space mining.

MarioKart so hit and run or throwing things at other cars

Playing poker with a non-standard deck.

Killing hundreds of zombies, skeletons, creepers, and Illagers, not so I can save the villagers they wrongly imprisoned, but so I can get that one specific gilded sword.

definately animal abuse.
i put 25 cows into a 1m² pen.

Killing the queen (chess)

Polluting and extracting every raw resource for my own benefit, mindlessly destroying the native alien population as they attempt to stop my destruction of their land.

brutal organ harvesting using exclusively medicinal plants, followed by cannibalism

Trying to commit a hostile takeover by having my company's employees fistfight their company's employees in the town square.

Forging a committed relationship with Shadowheart.

Destruction of property and I guess kidnapping by rolling everything in earth into a giant ball

Legend of Zelda, maybe somebody finally had enough of me smashing all their pots and cutting all their grass. I don't think those monsters are calling the cops for all the murder, they always seem to pop right back anyway.

Making my government into an expansionist empire and leading its armies with a bit too much detail.

Playing cards...? It was solitaire 😅

literally what is there to say about geometry dash, it's a fucking square

Killing mr house

I’m not sure I’m getting arrested. Me and a team of mercenaries were fighting another team of mercenaries over suitcases of intelligence. Seems like a state of war.

For apprehending or killing terrorists, and defusing their bombs in a hospital terror attack

Elden Ring... soo.. lots of murder

Graveyard Keeper.

I don't even know. An absurd amount of mishandling and experimenting on corpses.

mass killing of scribble spiders? idk

Spreading Managed Democracy, whether they want it or not!

Murdering zombies with plants.

One could say it's zombies vs. plants!

Last game I've played was egg, inc. It's a mobile idle "numbers go up" game.. There's nothing overtly criminal, so probably tax evasion or something on my trevigintillion bocks.

Trespassing - have to catch that pokemon for Pokemon Go.

Shooting myself in the head with a very realistic looking toy gun-- repeatedly (?)