Crushing LEGO villains and collecting silver, gold, and purple studs.

Idk...Being a good lawyer? I was just playing The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles

Mass murdering animals.

Doing 95mp/h in a semi down the shoulder of a highway in Colorado.

MarioKart so hit and run or throwing things at other cars

Going a-víking and dismembering "a few" Englishmen...

RimWorld... I'm not the type for cannibalism or human skin hats, but I do produce and sell a shitload of cocaine.

Oh, and I killed a child colonist, in this run. There was a bug in her age-up event, and the game would not let me proceed until she was... removed. I hate killing children, but since it was the end of the world without doing so, I give myself a pass this time

Being an ex yakuza

Rolling a ball that, through exponential growth, eventually starts to swallow up the likes of skyscrapers, clouds, Godzilla, and the planets of the galaxy.

For yelling too loud.

Statement of an observing police officer:

They say ToxicWaste murdered that Salesman... with his voice! Shouted him apart!

Gunning down helpess mutants, raiders, and scavengers who happen to cross my path in a nuclear wasteland. I think I might get the chair for mass genocide.

Running a 75 ton Timberwolf Battlemech.

Pretty sure just turning the thing on would be enough to get me arrested. Civilians typically aren't allowed Surface To Surface missiles, and megawatt power lasers that are effective weapons at a range of over 1000m.

I'll have a 100 ton Madcat 2 soon.

Demolishing robots with a magnetic guitar-sword in beat with my rock playlist that plays in my heart.🤘

Assisting a vampire in plotting and then carrying out the murder of her father.

I'd probably be done in for EPA violations (Satisfactory).

Being too homosexual.

FFXIV

Space mining.

Killing hundreds of zombies, skeletons, creepers, and Illagers, not so I can save the villagers they wrongly imprisoned, but so I can get that one specific gilded sword.

Playing poker with a non-standard deck.

Rimworld players:

Polluting and extracting every raw resource for my own benefit, mindlessly destroying the native alien population as they attempt to stop my destruction of their land.

brutal organ harvesting using exclusively medicinal plants, followed by cannibalism

Trying to commit a hostile takeover by having my company's employees fistfight their company's employees in the town square.

definately animal abuse.
i put 25 cows into a 1m² pen.

Forging a committed relationship with Shadowheart.

Destruction of property and I guess kidnapping by rolling everything in earth into a giant ball

Killing mr house

Playing cards...? It was solitaire 😅

Spreading Managed Democracy, whether they want it or not!

Killing the queen (chess)

literally what is there to say about geometry dash, it's a fucking square

removing the stairs on the pool, and let my sims cant get ou tof the pool till they die (the sims)

For apprehending or killing terrorists, and defusing their bombs in a hospital terror attack

mass killing of scribble spiders? idk

Murdering zombies with plants.

One could say it's zombies vs. plants!

Making my government into an expansionist empire and leading its armies with a bit too much detail.

Elden Ring... soo.. lots of murder

Murdering wildlife and blowing up planets.

Graveyard Keeper.

I don't even know. An absurd amount of mishandling and experimenting on corpses.

Legend of Zelda, maybe somebody finally had enough of me smashing all their pots and cutting all their grass. I don't think those monsters are calling the cops for all the murder, they always seem to pop right back anyway.

Last game I've played was egg, inc. It's a mobile idle "numbers go up" game.. There's nothing overtly criminal, so probably tax evasion or something on my trevigintillion bocks.