Last night I rearranged all of the furniture in my apartment. This morning I woke up and put on a blindfold and pounded 6 shots of vodka in a row. Then I spun in circles for two minutes straight and tried walking to the kitchen.
I heartbreakingly stubbed my toes 42069 times on the way there.
I just demanded we cut off my feet so I never have to stub my toes again.