You can, it's called therapy.

Patch Notes v2.0:

• Fixed a bug where you would freak out for no reason. Anxiety levels now reduced by 50% - enjoy a smoother, calmer and more stable experience!

• Upgraded memory capacity by 50%. Say goodbye to forgetting where you put your keys or that one relative who changed your diaper once. You're welcome!

• Removed those pesky 'Remember that time you embarrassed yourself in front of everyone?' pop ups. Time to move on, folks! No more cringe-filled flashbacks from now on.

Stay tuned for more updates on the Human OS and also a huge thanks to our contributors.

Bug fix: your tongue and cheeks no longer get bit by your own teeth while eating

You could always use monkey-patching

Drugs, I'm talking about drugs. 🫠

-bug fix: enable vitamin c generation ability -bug fix: enable tooth enamel regeneration

That's called drugs.

get your vaccines 🤣

-Empathy attribute improved by 50% -bug fix: some players' Empathy attribute was below baseline; these players have had their Empathy attribute reset to baseline.

patch out the bug that causes eyelashes to have a chance to fall into the eye

Oh yeah! finally fixed that anxie- Segmentation fault (core dumped)

• bug fix: you can now go to a room without forgetting the reason you went there
• bug fix: you can now produce your own vitamin C again

No you don't. You want to learn how to properly run your hardware.

• anxiety serves a purpose, forces your fight or flight response, develops survival instinct

• memory is not meant to be heidetic as not everything is vital information; you want to remember what you had for lunch when you were 3 years old, on a tuesday, mid january?

• failures are more important than successes; failure teaches you what does not work.

Run your hardware better. Have some therapy, try to sleep more/better and go for a daily walk.

• adjusted responsibility level by 1000%

The entire field of medicine : Am I a joke to you?

What do you think vaccines and gene therapy are? :P

Cursed Monkey Paw:

Wish Granted. You get regular firmware updates, just like HP printers do.

I'd give my left nut for the allergy update.

Just open source the code. Let me hack on it.

Isn't this technically a vaccine? I suppose that's more like Avast for your body

-new bug: Due to forgetting of past failure, there is now reoccurring failures.

Humans have them. But they are like Linux drivers and upgrades. You have to look for them as invest a lot of. Tike to actually improve.

3rd set of teeth added

No thanks, seen too many bad updates to want to let myself get bricked by a bad update.

You actually have to work on yourself to get those upgrades. Takes a bit of effort but can be done.

Sadly they don't teach people anything about how to handle their emotions in school, so people never even attempt to get some skills in that area.

If you don't know how to master your emotions, you will never become a jedi.

This is the meditation update that you're looking for

Sure, but you always download the latest bugs.

-known issue: audio skips every 10s

c/outside

Reading books, studying, learning new things, is our way to update our firmware to make new things, or give us new tools to fight anxiety or depression.

Also, to improve your math skills, you have to do maths often, and the brain will get better at it.

The brain is like a muscle that you can train to become stronger at things that hurt you or better at things that you need.

Fixed a bug where the human would sometimes procrastinate too much, saying "It's a problem of my future self".

Can I get a perceived attractiveness buff plz

Also, combined sex and waste organs; awful idea.

Human babies need a buff, they're functionally useless for far too long. Other mammals can stand immediately.

Way too many incompatible preference traits. Cheese being delicious but also requiring to enslave another being for manufacturing, with a 50/50 chance it makes your asshole explode. Way too chaotic.