this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2023
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Someone asked a question about how frequently young people have time to socialize and it made me think about what people do with their evenings. I recently asked my son to go to a concert (free ticket to see a band i know he likes) and he declined because it was an hour away on a weeknight. If we invite our kids or niece/nephew to dinner they always want to go at 6/630 which feels so early. Edit: Kids are 30ish.

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[–] Sabata11792@kbin.social 130 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Early 30s. Outside is a scam. Everything there involves spending money and dealing with people. I'll talk and play games with my friends online but don't see people unless I am at work or forced to go out.

[–] awwwyissss@lemm.ee 102 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Everything there involves spending money

Almost all the good socialization has become commercialized. There's no town square anymore, it's turned into a Walmart.

[–] Bipta@kbin.social 28 points 1 year ago (2 children)

And not even a 24 hour Walmart.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I think that's a big point, hardly anything is open late anymore. Seems like the world stops at 10PM these days and everything has to shut down then.

[–] Today@lemm.ee 9 points 1 year ago

Yeah, many places that shortened hours during covid have not resumed their BC hours.

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[–] lazyslacker@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My town actually has a square. It's nice to have.

[–] awwwyissss@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

Nice, I love town squares. The place to be

[–] Turkey_Titty_city@kbin.social 7 points 1 year ago

not even a walmart. where i live it's a neiman marcus. if you don't have $2000 to drop on a single coat, GTFO.

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[–] Turkey_Titty_city@kbin.social 95 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (7 children)

I don't go out because post covid everything costs 100% more and is 100% worse.

I spend $60 on two beers and a mcdonalds quality hamburger + fries last week. F that. in 2019 that would have been 20 bucks. in a place that was crowded and it took me like 30m to get my food. and almost every place is like that now. double the price for half the service or quality of product.

if going out was fun and affordable I'd do it more. I went out regularly before covid. I just don't want to have to drop 30-40 bucks for a single beer and junk food meal anytime i want to socialize.

all my old spots that were affordable, chill and fun, are gone. i used to hang out in coffee shops after work because they were quiet and i don't drink.. now they all closed at 2pm. bars are noisy and crowded and want $15+ for a cocktail and $10 for a budweiser. that used to be $10 and $5.

[–] lazyslacker@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Dude even stuff like bowling is too much now. An hour for two people can approach $70 at certain places. Not the bougie places either, those places are even more. I was browsing Google reviews for one place nearby like that and the owner responded saying that they should look for a Groupon.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Around here, all the affordable bowling places shut down. All we have left are the boogie places.

My mom sent me $60 to take my kids, and it was not even close

[–] Today@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I get that. On top of increased cost we got into this overtipping to help people who were working and it's all gotten out of hand.

[–] Turkey_Titty_city@kbin.social 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

yeah i'm not even counting tipping. that shit is insane. lots of places in my city now want a 20% tip, and a 5-10% fee. on top of a 9% tax. So basically your meal is now 35-40% more than the prices in the menu. and it's expect at literally every joint now, take out and coffee joints too.

it's just not worth it. for that kind of pricing I'm better off just getting delivery. which is what i do now. ubereats is a 20% tip and like a $5 delivery fee. it's cheaper and i don't have to deal with slow/rude service and other customers being loud and obnoxious.

[–] BassaForte@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I still tip 15% most of the time. Tip flation is a scam when tips are already a percentage of the total. Don't feel forced to tip more.

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[–] Anticorp@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

We did not get into over tipping to help people who are working. Tipping popped up everywhere because it's profitable for POS terminal operators and business owners. It wasn't something society decided on, most people complain about it. It was brought about suddenly when the POS terminals changed, mainly from Square Cash, but everyone else followed suit.

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[–] sanguinepar@lemmy.world 85 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Not young anymore, but when I see the price of live music, alcohol, etc, and combine that with things like student debt, low income jobs and the pressure of potentially being humiliated via social media, I wonder how on earth young people ever go out.

I feel incredibly lucky to have been in my late teens/early 20s during the late 90s and early 2000s. I suspect a lot of my generation dodged a fair few bullets, and never even realised it at the time.

[–] Today@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago

So so glad i grew up without social media!! My bad decisions would be meme warnings for future generations.

[–] Turkey_Titty_city@kbin.social 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

parental money and credit cards.

my work hires lots of 22 year olds. most of them are getting an extra 1-2K from the bank of mom and dad per month, and loading up on debt. i've seen their statements that they download onto their work computers. kid making 40K a year has 15K in CC debt. (of course this same kid got fired because they were doing personal shit on a work computer).

poor kids live at home with their folks to have any semblence of a life.

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[–] HidingCat@kbin.social 73 points 1 year ago (4 children)

If we invite our kids or niece/nephew to dinner they always want to go at 6/630 which feels so early.

I hate to break this to you... but it's likely because they want to do their own things as well.

[–] Fleppensteijn@feddit.nl 17 points 1 year ago (4 children)

For dinner 6.30 seems very late to me imo

[–] vinceman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I typically eat around 730 8 630 sounds early to me.

[–] UncleBadTouch@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 year ago (5 children)

yeah, i grew up with 4 meals. breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper. eating at 6pm seem early for supper and late for dinner to me

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[–] Maeve@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago

Like have time with each other or simply sleep before work next day.

[–] Today@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

Like to do something else afterwards? Maybe that's it.

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[–] chutapues@lemmy.world 69 points 1 year ago

Cost of living and going out is insane. We don’t have the expendable income to do so.

[–] qwamqwamqwam@sh.itjust.works 41 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

At least for me, its a threshold problem. The internet means that staying at home is always going to be at least somewhat interesting, which makes it a lot harder to take a gamble on a random late night outing. It’s not just staying out late, either—Gen Z shows declines in a whole host of risky behaviors. Smoking, alcohol, drug use, teen pregnancy, are all way down in our generation. In some sense, we’ve found a drug that we prefer to actual drugs.

[–] Album@lemmy.ca 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Your kids aren't kids and probably understand the value of a good night's sleep in order to work the next day?

I generally don't go out on week nights especially not late because I want to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep or I'm a grumpy unproductive mess. My evenings I'm making dinner, getting ready for the next day, and trying to find an hour or two to relax before doing it all over again

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[–] UnhappyCamper@kbin.social 22 points 1 year ago

I'm in my 30s and with constant stress of life, I have no interest in really doing much of anything besides sitting on my couch playing video games and forgeting everything in my down time.

I used to go out and party every weekend and during the week, but that was my early 20s.

[–] BassaForte@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I'm 29. Wife and I go out for food 4 times a week. Also to do things to get out of the house. But, I make software engineer money and we live in a relatively small city in Wisconsin. I bought my house at 27 and own a sports car.

I know shit is rough for a lot of people and inflation is nuts. I don't take my career for granted.

EDIT: Oh yeah, probably a good thing to note: no kids, we're both sterilized. Not our thing.

[–] Turkey_Titty_city@kbin.social 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

yes. nightlight in my city is predominantly wealthy people going out every other night. i go out like a few times a month and people think i'm a weirdo/shut in. i used to go out more, but it was way cheaper to go out back then.

i can't be dropping $500 in drinks alone every week. but for a lot of people in my city that's entirely normal.

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[–] Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I am a young person and I only leave the house to go to work, but I am currently looking for a wfh job. There's nothing really interesting outside and the weather is rarely nice. If there were less roads and stores and more parks or places you could just exist in then I probably would go outside more, but that would be during the day and not at night. Usually during the evening I just lay around and relax. I am so tired and stressed from the day that I never feel like doing anything when I get home.

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[–] PlzGivHugs@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

I don't know about your location specifically or the specific age range you're refering to, but at least where I am, school/college tends to start at like 8:00 am, and most students want to or need to work fairly busy jobs given the ongoing cost of living crisis. Considering that, it means they can't stay up late, and don't have much energy to socialize compared to older generations. Although again, this varys by area and individual.

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[–] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

I just don't feel like it anymore, I'm a different person than I was in my 20s. COVID has nothing to do with it.

[–] mojo@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago

Covid isn't a factor for me anymore, I keep up with my shots. It's financial reasons and time restraints mostly. I got too much shit to do to have any sort of fun. My off days is catching up on sleep debt and errands. Speaking of which I need to do right now.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 9 points 1 year ago

I'm 30ish. There is no time. Gotta go.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (6 children)

My kids, the teenagers, definitely do not go out like I did - it's not money, most of what we did back then was just drink in empty parking lots, go to garage punk shows, concerts when we could. Sometimes the beach at night too. We had no money. They do similar (much less drinking, more of a police state now) but way, way less often and not usually till late.

The older set, 25-31, it varies. Some eat at civilized 8-9pm when they do go out. Some like to go at teatime then just go home.

The husband and I, we do usually go out to eat at teatime but sometimes go out for a drink, literally one, or to a concert or show.

Every single one of us, adults and teens, like outdoor concerts because they have to end by 11, noise ordinance. Or concerts at clubs that wrap them early to open afterwards as a dance club. Nobody likes staying up till 3am at a show anymore, but maybe nobody actually liked it in the first place?

[–] sanguinepar@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Agree with everything you say except the final point - I absolutely LOVED being out clubbing until 3 (4, 5...)

Maybe it was just a product of my time as a young person, but being out that late and having a great time long after most people were asleep just felt so fundamental to my young adulthood.

That's not a criticism of those who prefer to stop sooner though, just a statement of how doing so would have felt alien to me. Each to their own though, as always.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The only time I really liked it was working swing shift. It was so wonderful to get out of work around midnight but still be able to catch some live music or even just sit at a bar on my walk home, have a couple of drinks. A lot like having the coffeeshop on my way into my day job now, it connects you to the community, and made the later work WAY more tolerable.

I will still go out to see a favorite band any day of the week, of course. But that calculation is very different now because I feel so much better with consistent sleep 11-7 every night, and do have a pretty demanding day job, kids, whole big life now.

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[–] beefcat@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This year I've been going out more than ever. COVID gave me a new appreciation for out-of-the-house activities and now I can't get enough of them.

Ironically, I met my current IRL social circle on discord during the pandemic. Most people in my old social circle started having kids over the last few years so I don't really spend as much time with them anymore.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

If you don't go to dinner at like 6:30 these days then you probably won't be able to go while the restaurants are still open.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

I blame video games! No, seriously. During COViD, my kids leaned on video games as their only social outlet - everything is online and they’re generally chatting the whole time. We stopped limiting their gaming time because that was their socializing time.

Since COViD and work from home, I don’t go out anywhere nearly as much. It’s too much hassle

My ex moved to a new town and my younger kid (high school) is very active so spent the summer exploring the town. He’d spend entire days walking around, and never found “where the high school kids hang out”, I don’t think they do (outside the house)

My older kid spend all his money on the “occasional” Dunks. Even coffee drinks have gotten so much more expensive

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[–] rasterweb@artemis.camp 7 points 1 year ago

My daughter is in her 20s and will go out to the climbing gym at 8pm or later some nights.

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